Edit: English isn't my first language. I am the ass hole. But this day turned out to be a mad emotional rollercoaster and I have to share this somewhere.

So, my grandfather and nan divorced before I was born. Last time I saw my grandfather was at my dad's funeral when I was nine years old. I remember him giving me a bag of sweets that day. My dad was an only child to my nan, and I was his only child. My nan passed away 5 years ago. I inherited my nan, including her old diaries. Turns out, my nan had an extremely difficult life and one factor was that my grandfather is truly an awful person. Narcissistic, violent, drunk and abusive. I never wanted to contact him.

Untill yesterday. My boyfriend said how he inherited a bit of money from his grandad some while back. I thought, well I'm glad I don't have to deal with all that stress again, as sorting out my nan's inheritance and funeral was super stressful to me. But then I realised. I have a living grandfather, who might not have any children left.

So, I went and looked him up online. It was really easy to find him. He's posted all his details on multiple public platforms. I found his Threads account and saw all the pathetic comments. He's begging young women and bot accounts to respond to his messages and making slimy, disgusting jokes. He's also openly racist and misogynistic.

I checked my home country's law on inheritance. By law, I'm entitled to my dad's portion.

Totally selfishly and only material gain in my mind, I thought that I really should message him, just so he knows my name (my surname has been changed) and just to check if he had any more kids after my dad. Just so I can prepare for his death and have all the relevant paperwork ready.

I wrote the message saying something along the lines: Hey [insert name here]. Are you the ex husband of [my nan] and the father of [my dad]? I believe you are my grandfather. Nan passed away few years ago and I miss her dearly. She was a mother figure to me in many ways. I now live in a different country, but I miss my roots and heritage. I wanted to reach out to you to ask how have you lived life? I would love to hear from your experiences.

I'm a manipulative ass hole. I knew that he would fall for my message as a narcissistic person with nationalist tendencies. I purposely stroked his ego.

I was not prepared for his response.

He wrote a long message of how my nan had ruined his reputation by spreading lies in my home village. Apparently he's never touched booze or even beer and you can't find better man than good old him. He told me how his two divorces have cost him hundreds of thousands, how women keep messaging him and wanting his money, how he has a nice car and a huge house by the sea.

Typical.

But then he also said: My dear granddaughter, you have been in my mind almost daily. I've been looking for you every where, but I didn't know your name had changed. I feel like a huge rock has shifted off my chest now that I heard from you. I only wish I could tell my mum, your great grandma, that I have found you.

I fucking sobbed. I cried so hard and long I had to quit work early! And I have no idea why.

He then told me that he has a daughter, my aunt, who's only 3 years older than I am. He also told me that they've not been in touch since the divorce with her mother.

I asked for her name and found her on socials too. And I was shocked. She looks more like my sister than my sisters do! Suddenly, I was totally obsessed in finding out more about her. She's got a 4 year old pug whom she has based her whole social media around of. She volunteers for care homes, just like I do too. She was awarded 5 years ago for rescuing people from a burning building. She's recently lost 60kg. She's career driven and doesn't have children, just like me. She loves her dog obsessively, like I love my cat.

I sent her a message too, but by that time it was already past midnight at my home country. She'll probably see my message in the morning and now I can't sleep.

I feel guilty for reaching out to my grandfather. And now I just hope that I can get to know my aunt. I truly hope she'll respond. I want to know her side if the story too. Is my grandfather truly an awful man? Or is he actually a victim of nasty lies and I'm truly an ass hole? I might find out in the morning.