I don’t even know where to start. I’m so fed up I could scream. My boyfriend has been the human equivalent of a wet sock lately, and I’m just DONE. He’s inconsiderate, lazy, emotionally unavailable, and somehow still manages to make everything about himself.

He never listens. Like, literally never. I could tell him I had the worst day of my life and he’d follow up with, “Damn, that sucks. Anyway, my boss was being annoying again…” Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize this was the YOU show, starring YOU, directed by YOU.

Also—this man couldn’t plan a date if his life depended on it. I swear I’m dating a brick wall. Everything is me planning, me making the effort, me remembering his family’s birthdays and buying the Christmas gifts, and him? He just exists. And badly.

Oh, and don’t even get me started on how he “forgets” to clean up after himself. Dishes in the sink for days, laundry piled to the ceiling, and somehow the trash just magically walks itself outside, huh? Spoiler alert: IT’S ME. I’m the trash goblin doing it all.

And the cherry on top? Every time I try to talk to him about anything remotely serious, he shuts down or says I’m “overreacting.” Oh okay, I guess I’ll just bottle it all up and smile like everything’s fine until I implode. Cool cool.

Anyway, I’m tired. I hate him a little more every day and I don’t know how much longer I can keep pretending this is working. If this is love, it sucks.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.