Hi everyone one, I’m not doing very well at the moment as my boyfriend M31 broke up with me F25 yesterday while we were in public. It was a very messy situation as I kind of lost control of my emotions and reacted in a way that I wouldn’t have if I wasn’t at a breaking point. To summarize what happened: yesterday my boyfriend and I decided to go to a food festival yesterday that was quite a bit away from where we live. The day started off mostly okay- I was a little annoyed because he wanted to buy a whole new outfit before we went out, and I felt like we wasted time and this was something he could have done in the morning before we left. He essentially picked up on the fact that I was a little annoyed and got annoyed too, so we kind of just shopped in silence until he got what he needed and we left. Things were okay after that, we both agreed not to argue and go on with the day we planned. After this, things were great, the drive was long, but to be expected and we got to the festival and we’re having a fun time. I was really happy until towards the end when we were waiting in line for one of the food stands we were at. It was a Filipino food stand, and not entirely related, but my best friend is also Filipino. She also just recently broke off her 5 year relationship with my boyfriend’s best friend. Anyways- at this point is when he makes the joke “I bet (my best friend) can’t cook, that’s why she can’t keep a man” and that really ticked me off. Mostly because it was a stupid unnecessary comment, but also because my best friend had been cheated on multiple times and then ghosted by her ex boyfriend. I told him it was a dumb joke and not to talk about my friend like that and he got annoyed. He was mad that I hadn’t thought his joke was funny and that I got upset instead. A couple of minutes pass by and everything’s fine, but then he points something out that I have on my face and says “you have something in your face, wait it’s just your blush, damn, learn how to blend your makeup better” at that point my feelings were hurt. I really got upset about that and he got upset too. He proceeded to tell me it was just a joke and that I was being too sensitive. He ended up wanting leave shortly after this happened, but I think it was because when he asked me if I was “done” having an attitude and ruining the day and I said yeah but I’m not going to apologize to you. After that, we left abruptly and as soon as we walked out he asked for his things and said he was going to take public transportation home and that he was done trying with me and wanted to break up because we weren’t working out. After this, I kind of lost it. Looking back I know I should have just left and let him be but I decided to fight back. I ended up eventually convincing him to get in the car with me and take him home, but then we started arguing again and it got bad. I don’t want to get into details, it wasn’t physical by any means but I think he and I both did and said things to each other that were very disrespectful. I know there’s no way we’re going to work through this especially since our relationship is over, but I’m just very sad.

I feel like him wanting to break up with me was unwarranted, especially over something as silly as me misinterpreting his joke. We recently had a fight over something I was expressing to him that made me uncomfortable, in response he got mad at me and told me I was being crazy and that my reaction was the problem, he tried to break up with me then too.

The more I write these things down, the more I realize this relationship is a sinking ship. But I’m still sad, I miss him and an apart of me wants him to reach out to me and ask for me back. I’m tired of constantly having to beg for him to stay with me because he almost always tries to break up with me after we argue. I shouldn’t have to beg for someone to stay with me if they don’t want to. That aside, his jokes are mostly hurtful, because they’re at my expense. I try to tell him that I don’t like them sometimes and he gets mad at me for being too sensitive. I just need advice for how to move on or fix this situation. I still have a lot of his things and vice versa. I know he won’t reach out and I’m not going to either this time. This isn’t healthy and I need to move on. This wasn’t an okay argument right?

Just for reference this is my first relationship, and we have been dating for about a year.