For some context,

I (F19) have been raised by my single mom for almost 12 years. My parents split up when I was 4 years old but got back together to raise me, but my mother divorced him when I was 8 due to him returning to his abusive ways and cheating on his marriage.

My father had always been an alcoholic and took out his abuse on me and never on my mother until they got back together, where she would get caught in the crossfire.

Otherwise, he is a pretty respected person socially and very smart. He always tried to make me maintain a good record as a child, and I did.

After the divorce, my marks did fall off. I understand my mother didn't have time to give me attention; she was too busy making sure we could survive, so I got lazy and my marks dropped.

I have always hated my father, but my mother always told me not to hate him and make negativity fester.

(I may be saying this to vilify him), but I am scared to reconnect with him. He has a son (28M) he had before he married my mom. During his first marriage. However, after the divorce a few years ago, he got back in contact with him and reintroduced and enabled his drug addiction as a way to get payback from his ex-wife. I'm not that strong-willed and am worried he might do the same to me.

He has tried recently. He has improved as a person, I want to say, because he provided for my high school educational costs. My mother was never able to get alimony (I'm not too sure how divorce works in India and was always confused about it).

He has been trying to care and ask my mother about me and my studies. Initially, I thought he was trying to get back with my mother, but that changed after he got married again, so I appreciated him acting like he cared at the least.

I have not directly interacted with him in a few years, and I recently saw him at a family event.

It was the death anniversary of a beloved family member. I was there alone because my mother lived in Delhi and I studied in Bangalore, so she couldn't come. After he saw me, he started acting like he had some responsibility over me, telling me I could do better in my studies, and I'd failed my mother, and I'm lazy as i didn't help out and didn't have a job, how i could do better yada yada, and eventually I punched him straight, as hard as I could enough for him to fall and all our family members seeing it, (it wasn't said straight as I explained, but it was mentioned frequently in conversation)i fucked off after that and didn't talk to anyone, however my mother and other relatives have been messaging me about how i disrespected the family, or how i couldn't hit my father even after all he has done, my mother also said i was at fault and wants me to apologize, i just can't see how anyone can justify him and I can't make myself apologize to him, I understand its childish and could just do it, but I can't.

AITAH And should I apologize?