Me (white 26f) and this guy (black 27m) are close, have been friends for years.

Anyways I came across an insta post today and thought to ask randomly why he thought women weren’t taken as seriously by society.

He said somewhere in his response that I wasn’t like most women because I was smart and thoughtful. And I told him I don’t like when he says that because while it compliments me it puts down women in general and that makes me uncomfortable.

To drive the point further I said “how would you like it if I said “you’re a good black person not like most black people” which I would NEVER SAY obvi but I was just trying to explain the point. But he got upset and basically tried to explain that racism could never be compared to sexism bc it’s such a different issue. I said but it’s both oppression right? Nd he said but racism is purely surface level and therefore more damaging but sexism is based on biological differences and has more substance…. ?????? At which point I spaced out and stopped listening bc all I could think was “does this man hate women????” I want to go figure it out with him and try to explain to my good friend where he might be in the wrong, but would love outside perspectives, particularly women of color, if these things are really incomparable and I was inappropriate? What could I say to continue the conversation with him productively?