I’m a college student M21 and my freshman year I saw this cute girl. She was my age and a tomboy (my type) F19. She was a little chopped at the time but I saw potential even then, I talked to her but got immediately clowned by her mail friends. Since then I chilled on spitting game at her cause I didn’t think she’d like me (meaning like men) until later that year she started going to the gym and dressing showing her figure and being more open to conversation with me. There was one time on thanksgiving where she wore this black dress and I nearly lost it, we talked for almost the whole time and found out we have a lot in common. She has an amazing personality and a great outlook on life and reminds me a lot of myself in the best ways.

My sophomore year I became extremely close with her brother M18 he was younger than me but always knew the answer to any problem and was the perfect wing man. We got even closer when I took a semester off for an internship where he was my only connection to the social scene at my school and the ones surrounding. We hit numerous 2 mans and would always encourage eachother to talk to as many girls as possible. During that time I recorded a podcast with him his sister and her friend and the looks she gave me made me want to melt. We spent most of the time talking to eachother and I could feel the connection when we shook hands and she just didn’t let go. It felt so magical you could feel it through the screen. We talked about what we looked for in a partner and she hung on every word (I kind of described her) and vice versa I found out she was waiting til marriage which made a lot of sense. I learned more about her background and why she is the way she is. I had to scrap the whole video because I couldn’t imagine what he would think if he saw the footage from that angle. We looked like a married couple.

Since then me and that friend fell out, and got back close but he left the school and hasn’t been around much since and he has changed his life and he is a man of god. He has often expressed disagreement with how I treat the women in my life which was funny cause we went on those 2 mans TOGETHER I got the same stories of him.

I have since become less promiscuous and have been searching for something deeper. I’m currently exploring something with someone F18 but at church today I saw the way my friends sisters dress draped over her slim waist and her beautiful back and I CANT stop thinking about her even with my current. I know she saw me looking and she was acting weird later on. I know she wants me because when I was on a break with my current flame she would see eachother on campus and she’d just stop and kick it forever.

I wonder if I should end things with my current and explore with her because life is too short to have regrets. But I couldn’t stand to hurt my friend and I know he would never forgive me. On the other hand if I don’t I might marry her. I’m so conflicted. I hope if I hold it down and appreciate what I have in front of me the feelings will fade because I love the girl I’m with and she’s good for me I just want what I want.

Thank you for reading let me know what to do.