Hello reddit,

Normally not one to ask a internet platform for advice, but i am struggling to make a decision and am asking for your opinion.

To give some context: I (27M) was in a relationship with this girl we'll call EX (23F) for nearly 2 years. EX is from the same place as I am. Which means we had similar friends circles, but maybe not the "main crew" of friends.

We broke it off in October 2023, mainly due to there beeing a dead bedroom and her uncertainty of her life situation. She never knew what she wanted to do in life to be excact. Although i always supported and encouraged her trying different things out with school and work, i also was not sure if this would be a good match long-term, since I was pretty set with a stable job after my studies and had a good plan going forward in life. Of course during the rocky last few months i was not the best boyfriend and distanced myself a bit, mainly because of hurt feelings with the dead bedroom we experienced. We both agreed that i might not be the best match at the moment and went our separate ways (or that's what i thought at least).

During our relationship, EX always had drama with her Friends. Only after our Breakup i realized, that she was always somehow the victim and innocent in this drama situations. She also told some straight up lies and got stories twisted, like telling her friends i'm not okay with her going on a night out while we were still together.

No surprise that sometime after our breakup she stayed in contact with a few of my friends and said some not nice things about me, which i only heard through second hand stories and not from my friends directly. I did not retaliate or say something to my friends, since i did not want to indulge in drama "games". I also understood that it was a difficult situation for everyone involved, since we're from the same place and share a few social circles. I also learned that maybe not everyone is as good of a friend as i thought (we all grew up together) but trying to think rationally, i thought that's okay and i cannot expect full loyalty from everyone i know.

To the recent case that actually hurt me: A good friend C told me recently that he was dating EX for a few weeks now. I am fine with that and happy for them, but I told him the right thing would have been to tell me before they started dating. I understand that EX does not owe me anything, but I believe a good friend should tell his "bro" something like this. I also told them, based on my past experience, I don't want anything to do with EX and therefore nothing to do with C anymore.

I also learned that another good friend M, who lives with me, knew they were dating but decided not to tell me. After I confronted M it turned out that C was dating EX for a longer time and that he lied to me with the few weeks dating duration, which he originally told me. I now feel betrayed by both C and M and sick of all these drama games I keep finding myself in.

To be fair, M's situation is a bit more tricky since he was friends with EX before me and him were good friends, which I always respected in the past. He also distanced himself from EX after our confrontation and explained to me it was not his place to tell, but felt sorry that I had to find out this way. While I understand his situation, I find it also irritating that he only now distances himself from EX after I found out about the whole story. And in my eyes, he should have told me.

My Issue now is I don't know who to trust anymore, I feel betrayed and I feel very very much sick of these drama games that keep haunting me. That's why my current approach is just keeping my distance and maybe moving out, which i voiced to M and other friends. They now think I am overreacting and that their hands were tied in this situation.

IATAH? Should i try to put this thing behind me and just keep living on like normal?