So this all started last year when me (f18) and my bsf (f17) met him (m19).. i used to have a crush on him that turned to be a big crush at that time, but then stuff happened and we lost contact for abt a month and i hated him and i was telling my bestie all that. She knew that i liked him then. Then after me and him stopped talking by a week, she started talking to him more and more and got close to him. They then talked everyday and loved eachother then dated for abt 3 months.. i was hurt at the time but i was like "its okay its for her she likes him its okay she can have him" EVEN THO I LIKED HIM FIRST.

Okay backtstory, she did the same thing before.. i mean she talked to the guy i told her that i liked, and then he liked her and she had mixed feelings for him but they never dated.

Okay so after they broke up by a month, me and him returned to talking everyday.. he started catching feelings for me and my feelings for him came back slowly.. after that by 3 months we started dating. Then broke up for a month then he came back to me and everything was normal not until yesterdays night. He broke up with me bcs he realized that he is still not over her yet.

I screwed up a big time. I lost them both.. my bestfriend of five years and the guy that i loved.. i hate this and i hate him for letting me believe that he was over her and that it was okay to date him..

Am i the asshole for dating her ex in the first place, even tho she knew that i liked him first? Not even once but twice she talked to the guys that i told her that i liked.. i dont want to turn this into a competition of who liked who first but its just making me crazy. And i dont want to be the one who chooses a guy over her bestfriend even tho i literally did that..

I stopped talking to her since me and him started dating and she noticed how distant i became and shes confused and sad by the situation. I feel like i screwed our friendship up. I dont want to tell her abt me and him and i dont want her to ever know cuz i know how hurt she will be..