This may need a trigger warning but is not directly SA or Abuse. But it is trauma shit.

I’m a young woman in my mid twenties. Unfortunately I am quite conventionally attractive (fit, curvy, petite, long hair, nice eyes, lips etc.) and I understand why many people want to fuck me. But I’m over it 🙃

I’m a sensitive, intense and weird person. I want someone to love me for that. I’ve experienced too many times the feeling of being desired by someone, only to see their shock and horror when they find out I’m a real person, with real feelings and fucked up parts to my life that I want real human connection to be able to survive through.

I’ve also experienced violent backlash by simply telling men no. Nothing has fucked up my life more than a man who is in love with an idea of what he can get from me, all the while deeply hating who I am. I’m not your manic pixie.

Anyways. Yesterday i was working on my computer in a coffee shop. A man behind me was working at a table as well. When i got up to leave, he ran and stopped me at the door. I took my headphones off reluctantly. He said, “I noticed you, what is your name? Go on a date with me”

That scenario is a common daydream I’ve had myself. I was flattered, kinda. But in my experience, its more fun in fantasy than reality.

In reality, I felt violated. How long was I being watched? Was he going to be able to take a no? Could I come back to this coffee shop in the future or would this now be an issue?

On the one hand, I do admire his courage and I could give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he’s a great person. But in that moment, he’s a stranger. It was too direct and based off of my looks, or my “mysterious intrigue” which.. 🤮

“I don’t know anything about you to know if I would want to take the risk of possibly being stalked or killed or both” would have been the most honest answer I could have given him. But perhaps that’s too direct. In reality I said a reluctant, “sure” but I will not be following up. I don’t care too much if I’m shitty for that. It might be saving me my life.

I’m a romantic myself. I want to believe there are good people out there and that spontaneous connections like that can happen and be great. That has not been my experience. Taking risks has gotten me hurt too consistently.

I know Reddit is an incel infested dumpster fire, but it’s the only place I have at the moment to confide to the masses about these things.

People of Reddit, is it reasonable to be creeped out by a stranger wanting a date? Without chatting me up or even giving me his name? Regardless, I’m not that impressed.