I’m on probation, and part of the conditions include paying a fine and attending weekly group therapy. I’ve been out of prison for about a year and have been living in my car the entire time. I had trouble finding stable work, and even when I did, I barely made enough to cover essentials. The therapy is expensive—like a car payment every month—but I did my best to attend and pay until I lost my job because of my record.

I kept going to sessions anyway and told my therapist I’d pay once I found a new job. After three months of job searching with no luck, I gave up. If I applied with my full (truthful) resume, no one would even call. If I left out my criminal history, I’d get amazing interviews—but nothing after the background check.

I’ve been relying on credit cards just to survive. Eventually, I asked if I could pause therapy to avoid going further into debt. Neither my PO nor therapist said no directly, but both implied I should ask family or friends to pay. I didn’t want to—this is my responsibility.

Later, I found a training program in a career that’s open to ex-felons and something I’d enjoy. I paid the $6,000 tuition by maxing out my credit cards and opening a new one. Around the same time, I got a small insurance payout (instead of repairing my car) and my tax return. I used what was left to send my therapist $600 to cut my debt to him in half.

I sent him a respectful message saying I’d mailed a check and thanked him for his patience. He replied angrily, asking how I could afford $6,000 for a tuition because I hadn't paid him for the past four months and that I had told him I had no money. He also said I treated him like a “banker” and demanded a call to “figure out how I’m handling my money.” It caught me off guard. My PO also seemed more focused on how I paid for school than the fact that I’m trying to get stable again. This is despite my therapist having suggested I pause sessions during the training—something my PO refused to allow.

The therapy sessions are on Zoom and cost $75 whether or not they actually happen. Sometimes the therapist doesn’t show up or just cancels mid-meeting. Most of the time we just talk about jobs, PO frustrations, or random stuff—it doesn't feel like actual therapy. But it’s mandatory, and missing them can violate probation.

I’ve done everything I can to stay compliant. I’ve never had trouble finding work before. I’m honest, hardworking, and I’m trying. So now I’m wondering: Am I being unreasonable, or are they? Why does it feel like they care more about where my money is going than about whether I’m actually turning my life around?

For those who have been through the US Justice system, I realize there's nothing I can do. I'm just so confused by the responses of a PO who wants to know how I paid for something useful over something not useful, and how a therapist can respond the way he did. Eventually I'll graduate, find a new career, and things will slowly get better. Or they won't.