I know most people would be like 'no' right off the bat but once you look deeper into it I feel as if I'm at fault. Most people don't go through these things ever in there life, nonetheless TWICE within the span of a year.

I don't know if I'm necessarily putting myself into these situations or if I'm just to late to speak up which only makes it worse, or if there's something weird in my brain that somehow attracts people like this.

The first time it happened was at school, and that happened over the span of a long time so it was a repetitive thing.

The second time it happened was with a friend, and both times have left me scared and terrified to really do much

I haven't left my house without being forced to in more then a month, I know some people don't shower and stuff after this but I find that im the polar opposite to the point it's almost a issue

I never had these issues before but after it happened I literally have to take a shower sometimes twice a day which drys my skin out, and if I don't take a shower it's like I feel the dirt and grime on me and it makes me crazy and breakdown

Again, I think it's correlated because I haven't had issues like this before.

Also I'm on a whole other level of angry, I think that's justified though.

But back to the original point because I got off topic, basically I'm just unsure if it's my fault considering both times it's something I should of spoke up about earlier or prevented it from happening and I want to know the chances of it happening again, I want to tell myself it's likely it won't ever happen again but I also told myself this would never happen to me until it did TWICE within one year so it's definitely wrecked my whole life and everything I have worked so hard

I was a straight A student before this and then I had to drop out and now I'm in the process of a GED so it's like everything thats mattered to me has been ripped away