This is a throw away, longtime lurker, but I feel like a real dick.

AITAH?

We see my inlaws at least once a week. This is his mom, and two of his paternal and maternal aunts. I'm uncomfortable around them because I can't be myself. (They are all over 80).

I (60f) have been with my partner (61m) for a decade. He's had 50 more years than I have to mesh with his family, obviously.

I have a dysfunctional family of origin, only keeping one of seven siblings in my life. I don't see her often, don't talk to her often, but feel totally open to seeing her or talkingto her for hours.

Basically, I don't have a great metric for dealing with family.

Today, my partner called maternal aunt to invite them (the three seniors) to dinner. I heard his mom in the background, and after the call, I said that his mom sounded sick.

A few hours later, his mom called and left a message. I told him that she sounds sick. He called her and suggested that we wait until she gets better. She said she's fine. He reiterated that we should postpone. She assured him that her sister only had a cold, she will be better soon.

I'll admit, my previous marriage gave me serious germ phobia tendencies because of how toxic it was. But I have been working on dialing it down (CPTS from my childhood contributed to this).

But AITA for not wanting my partner's seniors to come over with obvious symptoms?