My wife (34F) and I (36M) have the opportunity to purchase half of a compound that is currently owned by her mother and her aunt. It is a 3 1/2 acre property that is split in half with one gate but separate deeds. There is a large communal shop that would be part of the property that we would own. Also, living on the property is my wife’s grandfather in a camper and my mother-in-law’s aunt who also lives in a camper on the property. The property is very expensive. About $600,000 which is a bit out of our price range however, my wife’s aunt and her husband have offered to owner finance the house to us under the incredibly low interest rate they had pre-Covid which is around 2.9% which would make the payments something we could afford. The reason this opportunity has come up is because a property directly across the street from the compound has become available for sale and my wife’s aunt and uncle have got the people across the street to agree to sell to them. However, they don’t wanna break up the compound and wouldn’t be able to afford the property across the street unless we bought their property. So the only way this deal would work is if I put up about $100,000 down in order to help them make a big down payment on the property across the street. It’s a win-win for everybody to a degree however, it’s not a property we could sell. Here’s where the tricky part comes in. I’m a bit of an asshole and a kind of a type a personality who is not afraid of confrontation and I do what I think is right whether or not people like it. I have no problem maintaining relationships and have a bunch of friends and haven’t burned bridges anywhere, but I’m not an agreeable man. I’ve been with my wife for 13 years and over the years, the biggest fights we’ve had have always involved her family. I do believe that her mother loves me like a son and that Her in-laws have no ill will towards me but they come up with random ideas and can be very invasive at times without realizing it. They’ll make big huge plans without even talking to me. My wife is always on board with these plans, and if I have any objection, it turns into the biggest knockout drag down fights we’ve ever had. Anytime she has threatened divorce It has been because of an argument involving her family and me disagreeing with something they want to do. Her family isn’t a problem it’s her inability to tell them no when it affects our family. We were recently daydreaming about what we would do with our part of the property and what my ideas would be for the shop and she told me I’d have to run it by the group and make sure everybody was OK with it because it’s a communal property. I said well I’m not gonna let anybody have a vote on what I do at my property. I’m not moving to an HOA. and one thing led to another, and it basically got explained to me that we would be expected to do what we wanted with the property, but to kind of keep the peace and make sure that everybody still was on board with what we were doing. That’s just not an arrangement I’m interested in signing up for especially given how many insane arguments we’ve had involving disagreements with her family in the past. My wife is very loving and loyal, but when it comes to her family, she is ferociously defensive. She doesn’t like making waves with anybody and doesn’t ever have big arguments with anybody except for me. I’m afraid that it’s going to be me vs the compound And I’m afraid that’s gonna happen often and will have no exit strategy from the property. It is her dream to live there with her mother and aunt and I understand that and I don’t wanna take it away from her, but I’m afraid it will ruin our marriage and we will have no way out of the property. She says if I don’t move out there, she will leave me which I don’t think she really means but as of now she has packed me a bag and says she will not live with me unless I agree to move out to the compound. I don’t think she means that, but am I really the asshole here? To be fair to her I did agree to move out there in principal. We went and met with her aunt and uncle and had some rough discussions about what would happen and how we would be critical to them buying this property across the street. We have not agreed to any terms yet. No paperwork has been drawn up, but we’ve spoken about it and I would more or less be going back on my word if we back out. It would essentially be consequence free, but it might affect her aunt and Uncles plans.