I (22f) and my 'best friend's (22f) have been best friends for over 10 years now. We've been on and off since we were 12, but since around 2020 or so we have been really tight and have been there for each other through everything. She means the world to me. I would jump through hurdles for that woman if it meant she was safe and happy.

I moved over 4 hours away last year, to move in with my partner. I still visit my parents often and, unless I end up with a migraine or something comes up, I always make the effort to visit her. She's pregnant and I like to check in on her every now and then to see if she's ok, if she needs any help, e.t.c. and also just to catch up with her. It's always been nice seeing her and I miss her so, so much.

However, she never comes to me. And I get it, she's heavily pregnant right now, she has a full time job (as do I). And it sounds childish and petty, but I get upset when she doesn't come to visit me.

It's not that she never plans on it, or at least to my knowledge. She's made plans before. The first time it was maybe a month or so after the move. I was so excited. I made sure the place looked good, smelled good. I bought lots of snacks, had a whole menu planned out for us. She ditched me last minute. Literally the day of, at the exact time she said she'd leave for the bus. She wasn't feeling well.

I let it slide because she'd just found out she was pregnant, she'd also just moved into her own flat. So I wasn't too bothered. I still wasn't bothered when she used the same excuse the second time, about a month or 2 later. I understood why she'd cancelled. It didn't really bother me.

Then she was meant to come over in October. Again, I was really excited. I was a tiny bit on the fence about it because she'd already cancelled twice, and I did have an inkling that she'd do it again for the same reasons.

Nope. Different reasons. Her bf/baby daddy couldn't be bothered with the trip; the trip that was optional for him, as at that point I didn't know him well enough feel comfortable with him staying in my house.

Then, a couple of weeks later, she came to me to say she really was coming over this time. She meant it. She was gonna bring her niece, and she and bf/bd were definitely coming. Again, I was a bit wary, but a part of me had hope that this time she would text me in the morning to say they were on their way.

Nope. 2 hours after they were meant to leave, it was a mixture of "I don't feel well/(friend's bf) can't be bothered with the trip." Just 5 minutes after that message was sent to me, I just so happened to check Snapchat, and they had instead opted for a trip to a shopping centre literally half the distance away, and spent the day at cafes and restaurants, and went to watch a movie.

At this point, I really had given up all hope. I came to the conclusion that I would mostly be going to her. After all, she was pregnant, she had pets, she had her job. She would never be able to make it up here.

Then suddenly, in the middle of March just passed, she and her bf announced to me that they were going on holiday! Where? To a little village literally 20 minutes away! AND she promised this time she would come over and visit! Again, I was excited. I'd been struggling with poor mental health at the time, and still am, and having her over even for an hour on one day of their holiday would have meant the world.

Fast forward to now. I asked her on Friday just past when she'd be over. She was hoping for Sunday. Great! Amazing! I found someone to cover my shift that day, literally did an entire deep clean and everything. Then suddenly, Sunday wasn't good enough but maybe Tuesday. I was busy on Tuesday. I asked her, "How about Thursday?" Thursday was great for her!

Yesterday she texted me. She didn't think she'd make it for Thursday. Literally the last day of their trip. Her bf wanted to spend time with his family. I told her not to worry about his plans, I'd help her figure out buses because she was so keen to come up. She read the messages and never responded.

She left them on read for 7 hours until I finally plucked up the courage to confront her about it. I asked her to confirm if she was coming. She said no.

I'd had enough. I reminded her of the other 4 times this had happened. She basically said "yeah, shit happens. What about it?"

To that, I said everything I felt. I reminded her of all the times I had, without fail, shown up at her's whenever I was in town. All the times, even before I moved away, that I showed up for her, to talk about her shitty hookups, to vent about work, and life, and mental health, to gossip. To literally do anything. I changed so many plans for her. She never came to me. Ever. Not even now while she's literally a stone throw away from me. And every time she's let me down I've been so upset and emotional over it because, to be quite honest, she's all I have.

But I'm the one being childish. Because this is the fifth time she's ditched me last minute and I'm genuinely upset. Because she had been telling me for weeks she was coming to visit.

At this point, I'm that upset about it that I wouldn't want her to come over anyway. I'm over it. I don't want her to come. But I'm being made to feel like the a-hole for being upset.

So, aitah?