I’ll save you from my essay, TL;DR: Title, hasty decision-making on my part lead to this dilemma, feels like another burden I just don’t need at the moment, would love to avoid unpreferred outcomes (tenseness and awkwardness.) but may be unavoidable. —————

Just started a new job and have been working with someone who started the same day as me. We began talking with each other because our job required us to use PCs to learn our roles and take short quizzes, and we sat next to each other since others were doing similar tasks. Fast forward to when we were on our lunch break. After talking with him, I found that he seems like a decent person, and it turns out we live somewhat close in our small city. Our conversation started with average topics, like family, and then eventually shifted to where we live. Once we discovered our proximity, he asked if it was alright if he got a ride, explaining that his wife works during the day while we work overnight (he can’t drive for personal reasons). I guess I felt pity, or maybe a bit of respect, simply not wanting to affect his wife’s schedule. No offense, though—that’s just not my problem type of ordeal. Although I hate to admit it, I’ve been at an off-the-charts levels of compassion fatigue even before all this, so please forgive me for just not having the required energy (physical, mental, and emotionally) to handle a situation like this like a normal person.

Now, unfortunately, due to a slight mistake on my part, we came to an agreement that I’d take him home after our shift on certain days. There would be money involved, of course, but at the time—and even now—I don’t care about the money; I just made a quick decision and in a way, trying to be “helpful”without thinking too much about it. During our conversation over lunch, I felt a lot of similarities between some aspects of our lives that really resonated with me. That ended up being the overwhelming contributor that led me to make my original, unintended, hastily made decision, coupled with a bit of pity for his situation with his wife, though I was mostly just trying to be friendly, especially since it was my first days on the job.

With that being said, there’s nothing wrong with him; it really is just on me. I have several reasons (family, my own mental health, etc.), but overall, I just want to go straight home after work and not have any extra responsibilities like this. After work, I just want to go home, wind down, and clear my mind. I didn’t leave that option available for myself because, for a moment, I was thinking and speaking too fast.

Getting back to current events, a day later there was a slight mishap where he expected me to pick him up, but I didn’t, even though I was really expecting that would happen. Even though we had discussed our arrangement, I thought he would have texted before work just to be sure. I should have checked myself, partially expecting such an event. He’s an older gentleman and doesn’t seem to be too good with technology, but I expected that if he can use Facebook on an iPhone, he’d find some way. On a final note here, it was a sudden spur of moment, during a lunch conversation decision, so we didn’t really seem to establish a sort of plan on communication beside having numbers. Anyway, after clearing that up, I did give him a ride after the shift, but I started to ease into the mindset of “I probably am not going to be able to do this…” Although I gave a not-so-great yet slightly decent reason about catching a ride with family who work the same days as me (which is true and logical, since my car is no stud with over 200k miles, and it wouldn’t make sense to drive separately to and from the same location). The thing is, besides a couple of days near the weekends, we work on completely separate days. With that conversation, I felt like it hampered my effort to get out of the situation more easily.

I know this is a lot of text for pretty much nothing, but it has been a heavy weight on me, burdening me with how to proceed without being viewed as a liar or, maybe worse, having my response be misconstrued. I will at least sleep better knowing I resolved the mistake and consequently avoided picking up an unwanted responsibility. I don’t want—and at this point, don’t know how—not to come off as a jackass (do I care when it comes to peace of mind? Not really, but I do constantly ruminate over nonsense like this) to get out of this self-inflicted predicament that I’ve gotten myself into. I thought of just being honest and saying something like, “No offense, you seem cool, but I didn’t mean to sign myself up for this—being a taxi, (my words,)” etc., but I’m not sure how that would go over. It feels like letting someone down, even though I literally just met the man four days ago and don’t actually know anything about him besides what we discussed. I didn’t mean to get into a situation that would require anyone to “depend/rely on me,or use me”which he may not be the case but boy does it sure feel that way, especially after such a short time. On top of that, I don’t want to drag this on any further then now and today because I don’t want to create such a dilemma. I expect to be taking him today and tomorrow, and I prefer a swift, easier, and “nicer” way out of this but I would overall love to just put an end to this as fast as I can. It feels like a mental barrier/clog that’s my affecting my thoughts and mood, and it seems it won’t be resolved until I make my choice. I guess my fear is the response that I’ll get. I’m pessimistic about everything so just based on the information I provided, I just feel as though I’m going to be a bad guy in this, in a way. I’ll get over situation like that much easier than what I’m dealing with now but just imagine such an outcome and having to go through it later is just draining on so many levels. It feels that he leaning on me way too much and I just can’t be a stranger crutch, especially not right now. I just hate and imagine that acquaintance will be shattered after this. Again, Only knew the man for no more then the few ours I’ve work with him. Will I lose sleep over it, if that outcome happens in this case? No. But until such decision and event plays out, My mind is just doing gymnastics. It just feels like it will be somewhat tense and awkward after what will seem like a 180 on how I act but I’m just being me and made slight mistake in the end, especially when I may be giving him a two additional rides (pending my statement/choice)

I definitely feel a little better with a clearer mind after typing my this out, but now I’m hoping Reddit can takeover from here and guide me.

Please my fellow Redditors, lend me your ener—thoughts, comments, concerns and opinions! Am I just a clown that needlessly overthinks everything?