Hi all, I’m quite nervous posting this. Sorry for the long read.

The situation was as follows. I took my boyfriend (both mid/late 20s) away for his birthday to Spain. One night we go for dinner, get drunk, and home back to our hotel. Whilst getting ready to watch a movie, we’re chatting and joking around. I made a joke saying he had ‘6 inches on me’ referring to height first of all, and then giggling because it sounded like I was talking about his you know, and he says ‘I don’t know - you might have an inch and a half, what do they call it - beef curtains?’

He’s never said anything derogatory about my body before, I was disgusted. This kind of comment also reflects - to me - everything wrong with how men view women & their bodies. He knows the views I have on this.

Anyway, I was honestly in shock, went silent and went to bed. I cried myself to sleep and the next morning got ready and left the hotel without speaking to him to get some space. I rang a friend who confirmed that I wasn’t crazy for getting upset. Eventually I asked him to come meet me & talk - he apologised over and over but maintained it was a joke. I don’t think it was a joke, I believe it is what he really thinks about me. It was also an insult out of nowhere which feels like he’s harbouring resentment for me. I ‘got over it’ to enjoy the rest of our holiday, it wasn’t really settled, but I thought to myself - what more can I ask for other than an apology?

This all happened about two weeks ago. I have seen him a many times since and it’s been fine. But I can’t bring myself to be intimate with him anymore. Sex is an important part of our relationship, but the thought of letting him look at me naked or touch me after what he said fills me with disgust. I haven’t had to straight up decline the sex, but i’ve put us in situations where it’s impossible. I can tell he has noticed.

I just don’t know what to do. AITAH for not being able to get over this? Just it does take time? Is this crossing a line of morals which can’t be fixed? We’ve been together nearly two years for context. Any advice appreciated. TIA