Me and my wife went back and forth fighting in reddit over two diferent posts. Here is a summary of what happened + my response.

In mine, I reflected on what had felt like a small instant—Jonah repeating the r-word from a YouTube video—and how it had come to symbolize something larger: my not taking some concerns seriously, and how that, in aggregate, had led to the collapse of our marriage.

In yours, you took that very same instant and turned it into a verdict.

You wrote about Jonah uttering the R-word. About how it felt loose coming from him. About how you stiffened, interrogated him, and traced it directly back to the "keyboard guy" I had allowed him to watch. Then, you shifted gears—rightfully or not—to a catalog of parenting disagreements. You recounted every instant I didn't fit your instincts, and you made your case: that I wasn't responsible enough, considerate enough, or serious enough. That I didn't listen. That you didn't have a choice but to leave.

You said this wasn't so much about a word—but what came after it: silence, excuses, deflection. A pattern you couldn't avoid anymore.

You're owed your version. But I don't accept it whole.

Yes, I did allow Jonah to watch a video that I should have previewed more thoroughly. Yes, I reacted to your complaints poorly at times. But your narrative turns the grittiness of a shared existence into a morality play with one very obvious bad guy. Me.

And that's where I call a halt.

We didn't break up over a word, or even a series of choices. We broke up because we lost faith in each other's judgment. You viewed my method as reckless. I viewed yours as controlling. Neither of us gave in. And eventually, the chasm grew too broad.

You've pretty much made it clear that we don't parent the same. I won't argue that any longer. What I won't abide is that only one style can be present in Jonah's life.

So yes—I will just keep returning. I'll continue to criticize the media he's watching. I'll remain vigilant. But I'll also leave room for mistake, for learning, for bounce back. Because Jonah's world won't ever be precarefully built to be safe. And I believe part of our job is to prepare him for that.

We co-parent these days. That's just the reality. You do it your way. I do it mine.

And we both keep moving forward.