My ex keeps texting me every few months, usually after breaking up with her boyfriends. She recently got excited about making plans like long drives, tattoos, and even losing our virginity together. But, as always, after a few days, she started acting cold again. This time, I mirrored her coldness, and now our conversations have stalled. I'm torn: I want my first time to be with her, and I'm bored with 3 months left before college. But every time I talk to her, it hurts my self-esteem and leaves me anxious. When I stay away, I actually feel happier. She even liked a reel saying she "doesn't like nonchalant guys," clearly hinting at me. But honestly, I was distant to protect my dignity. Should I text her, even if it costs a bit of self-respect, just for the chance to lose my virginity? Or should I move on for my own peace?