AITA? My mother and her long term boyfriend (over 12 years) are getting married next weekend (Easter). It is intensely small, only my siblings and first cousins. After weeks and weeks of planning, telling us what she wants us to wear, where we’ll be staying (they are paying for a large AirBNB for us), mentioning my BF in the plans when renting the house, etc.; about a month ago, her fiancée asks for my boyfriends number - my BF/I live together and attend all family functions together for over a year now. Before I answer, I ask my mom if she knows why and she seemed genuinely surprised and said she did not, but would ask him after work. I did not answer until I spoke to my boyfriend and he said it was ok to give fiancée his number and I did; then didn’t think of it again until yesterday when I bring up packing for next weekend, confirming with the dog sitter and other things. My boyfriend tries to change the subject when I ask “oh did you ever hear from (fiancée)?”, so I asked again. He tells me he received a text from fiancée saying the wedding was for immediate family only, and they’d catch up at the next holiday. Disinviting him from the wedding.

My boyfriend has known for a month and said he was going to make up an excuse the day we were leaving as to why he had to stay back. Said he’d rather I be mad at him than my family and I should spend the wedding weekend with them. I was pissed with him at first but realize he’s in an awkward spot clearly knowing I had no idea.

I have not approached my mother or her fiancée yet but feel at this point, my mom definitely knows why her fiancée asked for my BF’s number; and yet still no one mentioned anything to me and has let me carry on helping with wedding plans and being excited for the wedding weekend.

I absolutely feel I should’ve been the first person to hear this, it should’ve been a conversation with me first, and not a text to my BF without notice.

AITA for not wanting to attend at all, or only attending the ceremony then leaving? And any advice I can get on how to have this convo when I meet with my mom this week would be greatly appreciated.