I, a 13 yr old girl, has had immense trauma growing up. My mother is in a physically abusive relationship with my step father which has caused me a big amount of trauma along with my 6 yr old brother who was a witness of ut along with me. In February my mom had told me she was pregnant in the worst way possible. At the time i was experiencing my period and had been extremely against a pregnancy at the time along with her. She had made jokes about how a huge Disney trip we had would not happen if she were pregnant. I had asked her to stop and that it was t funny but she persisted with the jokes to where I had to get her friend to say that it wasn't ok. When I did find out about the pregnancy she informed me while she was doing the joke that she knew I was uncomfortable with. I laughed from disbelief and them started crying my eyes out to where I said she was a bad mom and stormed up to my neighbors house. I stayed there crying for two hours straight expressing my concerns and to why I thought the pregnancy shouldn't happen.

MY REASONINGS TO WHY I DONT WANT ANOTHER SIBLING:

1. I don't think that we are in the financial place to have another kid when we are saving for a new car, house, and replacements to the broken furniture my mother and step father should've provided.

2. Like I previously mentioned they have a very toxic and abusive relationship. In January my step father had thrown a vape at her and she had to get stitches. CPS has i tracked with my family about 4 times. And I think bringing another kid into this mentally unfunctional family isn't the right decision.

3. I feel as if my relationship with my mother is broken because of the trust. While she told me a day after she found put about the pregnancy she had informed my neighbors before me. I feel like my trust was broken because she had promised ever since my little brother was born that she would tell me first. It feels like a slap in the face to where she felt like she couldn't tell me first. She had told me that she went to one of our neighbors for help about how I would react to the news which is understandable. She told my other neighbor though because the neighbor gave her the pregnancy test. I find it a stupid excuse to say that when she could've lied about it especially because the neighbor would've believed her.

4. I also feel like my whole life is crashing down from this. I'm so scared of hiw my brother will feel when he is a very attention needing kid. I'm the only reason this family is still together at all. I mentioned earlier that CPS had came to my family 4 times and each time I lied for my parents. I kept our family together and I feel like I should have a say in this since it'll change my life forever. My parents lack the understanding if hiw it'll change my life but I don't think k they get that now I'll forever have another sibling.

ENDING: I understand that my mom can do whatever she wants and that it might not be my place to say so but I truly wish that she has a miscarriage. Me and my parents had promised we would have a house and a car before another kid would be here and I feel like it was all a lie. I had talked to my mom and she had said it was a accident and that there was no money problems whatsoever. I don't think it's an accident because of the jokes she had made a few weeks before about it. I feel like this was planned and she's trying to lie to me about it. The only people who agree are the 2 neighbors she told and my friends. But please let me know what I should do and I just need the know AM I THE A--HOLE?

EDIT: I suggest you all read the comme ts since I've replied to the majority of them. I am open to hear anyone's thoughts on this and how I should proceed.

I ALSO UNDERSTAND LYING TO CPS IS WRONG AND IVE PUT MY BRITHER IN DANGER. if ANYTHING were to happen again I'll go to the police. I DID TRY TO BUT MY PHONE DID NOT WORK.