My partner and I have been together since we have been 17 years old exclusively. We have bought a house together, have two beautiful children, and I can say I truly to this day admire and respect her.

The day my 2nd child was born we asked my MIL to move in to help. She lives in our basement which I did alot of work to convert to a in-law suite. She loved the idea, and though there were some instances of her overstepping some boundaries, the first 6 months went pretty smooth. She pays rent, watches the kids, and helps out in the yard.

6 months in, my FIL (who is divorced with my MIL) was diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver. He was living with his Brother when they had a falling out and needed a place to stay. My partner (whom is very close with her dad) offered to help take care of him and I agreed he could stay with us until we figured out a good living situation for him. We offered to move my oldest child who is 4 into my youngest room who is 16mos so he could take my oldest room which is a big attic loft.

It has been 5 months, and Iam absolutely miserable. My FIL is very loud and boisterous. He constantly barks orders to my partner and it infuriates me. I have chose not to include myself in most of their day to day so I can be with the kids when they need to go to appointments and run errands. My FIL is very temperamental so I try as hard as I can to keep the peace in the house no matter how upset I get.

It seems that my whole life revolves around him and I feel like a prisoner. My partner and I have drifted apart because most of her attention that I would normally get goes to her father, and the rest that she has goes to the kids. (Which I totally get) It's getting to the point that I resent my FIL so much that I can't stand anything that he does or says.

My partner and I constantly clean up after him, and even though he is sick, I feel like Iam being taken advantage of.

My breaking point was a few days ago when my FIL asked my partner if he could spray paint cracks in our sidewalk so he doesn't trip over them. She relayed this to me and said I told my father to talk to you about it and I chuckled and shook my head, never indicating one way or the other. My partner and I got to have a date night that night and when we got back I found that the cracks had been spray painted.

I was furious and I went to my partner about it and she said, "well, I thought you said it was ok!" Now I never indicated that it was, and after further argument she admitted that she gaslit me to try and damper the situation. My partner has never done this before.

She didn't know my FIL was going to spray paint the cracks either but I can't help but feel betrayed. For my partner to gaslighted me to try and protect her father. I don't feel like the most important man in her life anymore, and I am starting to resent her too.

I love my partner, and have the utmost admiration for her. She works so hard. I relay my feelings of being lonely, and the odd man out due to living with both of my in laws but she really doesn't seem to have the bandwidth to try and fix our relationship right now. I am even starting to resent my MIL just because I feel so trapped.

Am I wrong for thinking about leaving? Am I justified for being so resentful?