This will be a long rant and English is not my first language, so I'll make a quick summary here

TL;DR: After a catholic education and overall lifestyle, I think I don't know to wether believe in god anymore, breaking my mother's heart and causing my parents to fight.

Long story;

I've been raised catholic all my life. Before the quarantine, I'd go to church every week, multiple times, pray multiple times a day and mostly acknowledge everything in my life to god, on whom I wanted to believe blindly. I was a good and very religious kid, and of course that I assisted a catholic school. On 2021 I moved countries, and even though the change was really difficult, i still held on my religion. Fast forward 2023 and I move cities, now studying on a non religious school per se. A lot of things have happened since then. I've been learning a lot, not only academically but socially, and when I realized that I might not believe in god, perhaps never had, something broke in me.

Nothing made sense, yet I was heartbroken. I joined the religion class in hopes to change my mind, but every argument on favor of god, to me, is contradictory vor not strong enough to make me believe. I don't mean to cause any debates, please. This is what I've chosen to believe, and I want to make my mother understand that I won't love her any less because of this.

Today, I had an argument with my religion teacher about the crucifixion because of a work I submitted about a movie, argument that I brought home causing havoc in my family.

The discussion turned heated, and at one point my sister asked me if I was even a christian, and I didn't know what to answer. My father, who was more or less defending me, validated my doubts causing my mom to break in tears because, as she put it; she couldn't understand how I could come out this way after all the effort they've put on raising me.

My parents argued, because according to my mom my dad has been trashing religion, making her miss when we were a lovely family going to church all together, making emphasis on the fact that when they were married they decided to raise us catholic and one of the reasons of my doubts was him trashing catholicism, which is not the reason but whatever.

Their fighting has increased recently, but today was something else. Not screaming not nothing, but as is something had broken in them. I feel like I should do something, interviene in some way. I shouldn't have brought this up. AITAH