My sister is married to a VPO of a major corporation. They bought a house for my mom and stepfather in exchange for my mom being a nanny to her three children. My mom jumps anytime my sister says boo! My mom pays the house insurance, the HOA fees, the gas, electricity, water, etc. My sister and brother-in-law only pay the mortgage. Of course, in case of their death, my sister and brother-in-law get their house back.

My boyfriend and I sold our house and are slow traveling the world. We return a few times a year for a week or two at a time in order to see doctors. I have had several brain surgeries and see my neurosurgeon a few times a year, more if necessary. My boyfriend (of 19 years) is legally blind and sees his glaucoma doctor a few times a year. We stay with my mom when in town, but we agreed to pay to stay with her because my sister made a big deal about us “using” my mom. Normally we would pay for all groceries and eating out and gas while visiting. Now, we pay $50/night and a meal here or there. It is super uncomfortable and everyone seems upset with us, so we are planning to not stay with family at all during future visits.

Are we the @ssholes for previously staying with my mom while in town to see doctors?