short version

during covid i made 3-5000 a week take home pay. i paid off bills and just let her do anything she wanted within certain bounds. stashed enough to be out of work for 3 months should everything stop. now we still earn 180ish but it's not 350 any more. live in an upper middle class neighborhood, paid off cars etc.. we're fine.

fast forward to this year and i told everyone we're toning it down until i pay off the last remaining debt. blew all the money for these bills on one last vacation (it's 5000 total) when i locked down a permanent job. still have a enough for one month bills but it's time to lock in. budgeting is simple, anything above my normal check goes to the debt or if i want to buy something for myself. our normal checks pay for living expense, mortgage, stuff for kids etc...

we get small bonus checks next week. mine is 400 and hers should be about double. mine goes into the debt and hers is free to do with as she pleases. she wants to take the kids on a cheap trip around 650 to a semi popular destination south of us about 4 hrs away. on paper this works right? 800-650=150. but you have to get down and back. 80. so you have 70 bucks to feed 3 kids and her for 3 days. asked her show me how this works in writing. i mean obviously it'll be another 500 minimum. only one place that can come from. she hasn't worked any extra or anything, so it would come from me. i said this can't work and suggested multiple other things in budget she could do and minitemper tantrum. fine i guesss we won't go anywhere! correct. you can't afford it. 800 is still a zoo pass, passes to the amusement park, we have passes to the local aquarium already. i'm lost here. maybe she's just not used to how most people live