Please correct me if I am the jerk.

I am F30 and my partner M28

I have ADHD, and anxiety diagnosed. My doctor also wants me to finish their questionnaire and bring it back for OCD because they believe I have it but I have been pushing that appointment off for fear of another diagnose of a mental illness.

With that being said, I get anxiety about certain things or germs. I like to be moderately clean. For example when I come home I take my shoes off in my front entry room, put slippers on and then walk through my house. I them wash my hands, and then change from my outside clothes to comfy clothes. Or I shower and put PJs on. I absolutely HATE outside clothes in my bed. I have since I was a teenager.

I have expressed to my partner of 2 years I like to stick to those weird rules because it makes me feel better about the house being clean. I really hand shoes in the house and have endless slippers for myself my partner and guests.

I have been living with my partner for a year out of two years dating. They insist on walking around the house with sneakers, wearing their work clothes in our bed. wearing sneakers in the bathroom walking all over the bathmat.

I have asked so nicely for the first 6 months of living together and now I just SNAP. I called them nasty, gross, inconsiderate and such. Then they get mad at me!!!

On top of that they bite their nails, all the time. It is gross and they do not wash their hands properly, they touch everything in public and then do not wash their hands and then expect to be intimate. When I ask them to wash their hands first I ruin the mood. I just fear that what if they are biting their nails with germs get a nail infection and I could get a bad UTI or something??

The biggest thing right now is I constantly am cleaning and disinfecting the house. Washing our bedding, the floors, the bathroom. More than I should and they do not help. The have cleaned the bathroom ONCE in the year living together. On top of that I kept an extra face towel for them to wipe their tooth paste mouth on after they brush their teeth and they INSISTS on using the hand towel in the bathroom when I told them I get grossed out washing my hands and them being forced to use a crusty tooth paste hand towel.

The latest thing is they brought sneakers from goodwill. used. Okay I don't mind that. I buy second hand and wash the clothes or disinfect the sneakers. Nope they immediately wear the sneakers and have been for days not with no cleaning them or nothing and have walked through the house with them.

I am at my wits end and honestly... am I overt reacting about the germs? Should I seek help and just see if my doctor has ODC medicine to help?