This is more of a rant but advice is more than welcome 🙏 So I have been in a relationship for 5 years now and last night I realised I don't think it's going anywhere and I'm not sure whether to leave or not. Even typing this and reading it back sounds silly as who would want to stay if they don't see it going anywhere but he will literally say a bunch of hurtful ish in an argument and then be fine later on.. you know like when you argued with siblings so I never know when he means what he is saying.

Like every argument has 2 sides I'm not sat thinking I'm perfectly innocent as I can be quite slobby when I come home from work and don't have the energy to then clean up after I have cooked for us but genuinely our arguments stem from his dictative mentality.

For context... I work 9 hour days 5 days a week, he has aspergers and adhd so does not work as he is on disability. I will actually take note to mention this does not make him lazy he still has been doing so much recently such as painting and decorating, cutting the grass, laundry etc.

However it's the respect there's simply none when it comes to the way he speaks to me. Last night I was watching TV in bed after cooking our tea and due to his problems with textures he never does the dishes so yeah after biking miles to and from a 9 hour shift he starts throwing out words like "lazy" "dosser" "tramp" for not doing the dishes after tea (I also left my jacket on the sofa and empty boxes from a delivery that day) then proceeds to mention how even his mum can see that "I'm the problem and how can he progress in life if this is how I want to live" so that being said after multiple times telling him to have some respect and not speak to me that way he still proceeds to do so.

So whilst arguing I genuinely just said if that is genuinely how you see me I don't see us going anywhere tbh to which he responded. I don't think I do either with the way you treat this house and neither of us have spoke since.

I love this man we make such good memories together and really have a strong connection when we aren't arguing and normally work together to lay the foundations for a future been saving for mortgage etc. But after he said this to me I just feel like I might be wasting my time and I already wasted 5 years on a toxic relationship. Now at my 5th year in what I thought was going to be my forever but I don't want forever with someone who can disrespect me and make me feel as unappreciated.

Is this something you think I can work out with him after 5 years or should I just accept he doesn't care for me the way I do him and leave?