I'm not sure if I have a right to be annoyed by this but here goes. I moved away from my home town the first opportunity I got - I didn't fit in there and I'm much happier where I am. I now live just over 2hrs away from my mum and sister. My sister is always busy and does not ever express a desire to see us (that hurts me but it's not the point I'm making). I am usually the one who always drives over to them with my son and husband to make visits. My sister has been maybe 5 or 6 times in 10 years and my mum even less.

My mum has been disabled since I was about 20 (I'm now 37). Here's where I feel a bit guilty. She is morbidly obese and has been my whole life. As she's aged the obesity has caused her multiple health problems and she is now too big to go in a car and can't access the bathroom upstairs at my house so she doesn't ever visit. Sometimes I feel like it's her fault she's disabled and I should make the effort to go there more often. Other times I feel like a bad daughter for thinking this way. She's never been able to support me much because of this - I've done everything on my own and now with the support of my husband.

A further complication is that I have also recently developed chronic pain and ill health on top of my already quite poor mental health (I was physically fit and well this time last year - it's come on quite quickly due to long term stress). I told my mum I was having to resign from my job because of this. Her response is that now I can go and visit her and my sister more often since I'm no longer working. I'm kinda pissed off at this. Am I wrong? I've explained the reasons I have been visiting less are because of ill health but I don't feel this has really been acknowledged. But I feel like I always have to make allowances and accommodate for her bad health (obesity).

AITAH? If I am can someone help me to be more understanding of things from her point of view?