Am I the a-hole or is my partner a narcissist?

I grew up about a 5 hour flight from where we live now. Born, raised, went to college and have a lot of friends and some family there. It's a popular vacation spot and I love it there too. I try to go home once a year and can usually get a cheap flight under $300 and stay with friends or use timeshare points that we have a lot of. Last year I went in April for about 10 days. Then my sorority was planning a get together in Oct. and I really wanted to go back for that. My husband has a new job and his boss is very strict on vacation, giving only 2 weeks. He has usually worked on commission from home or while traveling so this is a huge change for him. Because he couldn't travel much recently, we also had a lot of points that were going to expire with no way for us to use them and I found a flight for $250. He was not happy, but didn't seem too irate when I asked. But that was May. Every time something was mentioned, he flew off the handle. He berated me and said he couldn't believe I would do this. We have 3 kids, one who just started college and 2 who are now in HS and driving themselves, so life is definitely a little easier. I fully stock pre-made meals and lunches before I go.

He's wanted me to work full-time since the kids were tiny, but before we had our first, I told him I'm staying home with them. However, I've always worked part-time or consulting, though things have been slow lately. He's pushing me to get a full-time job, but there's still a lot to do with the house, meals, being there for the kids, etc. and I told him no, not until they graduate. We are fine financially. He just bought a new car, buys expensive things, has no problem with expensive vacations, as long as he goes on them.

Am I the a-hole for going without him? Or is he a jealous control freak?