Context- I’m the FT breadwinner net for our family, and have been since my spouse voluntarily left work. It was supposed to be for only a year or 2, but has since rolled into a permanent basis. In the last 1-2 years my job changed and I have been able to increase salary so we can afford our daily needs and occasionally go on vacation (Disney, etc US). This year has some big milestones and I wanted to travel again as a family but my spouse said they do not want to travel on a plane this year, and won’t “allow” me to bring our 7yr old either due to excessive worry/paranoia. Despite this I still want to travel as it brings joy and I don’t have any normal friends that I hang out with or go anywhere and take time for self care. This year I said that if I couldn’t go with them, then I would invite my sibling. Unfortunately they cannot travel so I booked 4 days in total to travel in the summer.(Booked end of year and spouse knew of this). Flash forward and spouse says I am completely selfish for going away without them, and I should stay home because I “don’t deserve anything I am a parent”. They also got extremely angry that sometimes need to travel for work for a week quarterly. Am I selfish? I have encouraged them to also seek self care and would support them going away if they wanted.