We formally broke up today, and he made it very difficult to focus on our conversation. He interrupted me every five seconds and was in denial for almost half of it.

I asked to meet at a small restaurant ( public place strategy) to avoid any type of drama. I tried to be respectful but definitely wanted to bring up my uneasiness and feelings about his behavior. He tried to brush it off at first, but when I insisted, he evaded the subject. I told him what he already knows: my children are my priority as a sole provider, and I want to ensure that they have their needs covered. There were some comments on my other post that I had thought about but hadn't verbalized. Like, what would he inherit my kids or what's his plan for his own kid. I know he doesn't have much, but that's no excuse.

When I established the comparison between what he wanted for his kid vs. what he would give to mine, his face changed, like I was greedy and he was insulted. He said my kids don't have a Dad and that he can provide a paternal figure. This triggered me so much that I had to try and keep my volume in check. My thought is that being there like a piece of furniture in exchange for financial benefits for his own kid is acceptable to him. I would have loved for my kids to have a decent dad, but that's just not in the cards, and right now, I'm better off alone than with Ben. I was so angry that he kept asking me to calm down. He said he's leaving his daugher good knowledge on life in general because there are things that only he can offer since her mom is too ‘secular’, whatever that means and I didn't ask him.

I said that we needed to break up, and he immediately got upset and left our table. I thought he was gone, but he came back later and claimed he only went to use the restroom. I told him that I can't share any part of my life with him after he behaved like a gold digger and that even if I was able to get past this, I would never even consider getting back together because his intentions are entitled and dishonest.

All in all, I'm just glad that we weren't alone. He has high blood pressure issues ( real, I've seen the medication), and sometimes, I've suspected some types of mental health issues ( going from zero to 100 for things that seemed incongruent. He said he was truly sorry if he offended me and said that he felt tricked and betrayed. That breaks are meant for introspection and to seek improvement and not to abandon a relationship. That my actions will have an impact on his daughter because she really likes me. I offered to have a last call/text with her if he agreed but his answer was “ no, fuck you, you don't get to say anything to her”.

He said that I'm caught up in my new “mainstream life” ( whatever that means, it's fucking offensive considering that I've worked for my financial stability after a few years of things not being great). He told me to go suck on my colleagues d!cks but immediately apologized. I told him I'm not surprised at his behavior, since it shows me that he seems to think sex can solve anything. I also said that since he was being gross and vulgar, I'm learning just now that men like him are unfuckable: hobosexual, handout seekers and insincere. And that I will never date someone who is not financially stable, ever again, because this is a huge lesson.

I wish that I could say that I had left him sitting alone at the table, but he left first. When I was about to get my handbag to pay for my food, he rushed to get his backpack and walked off really quick. I blocked him everywhere but I already changed my locks. He never had a key nor did he stay over but I'm just being cautious.

He called one of our friends in common to vent about me and she ended up angry with him because he was very insistent that I had mistreated him and she told him that she needed to hear my side of the story. She and I had a long conversation and she told me that she can't blame me, because our group of friends had been noticing the imbalance in our relationship and how he seemed comfortable including himself in conversations about business and success when in the 16 years that she's known him, he's never gotten anything done.

So that's my update. I also blocked him on social media and messaging apps.