Original Post

So like 5 minutes after my mom and I went back and forth, my sister came home from her walk and my mom asked her to take the dog. She said okay and left again, so I had time to drink my tea in peace. It took about 8 minutes lol. Later that night we all went to Burlington and I did go on a walk with my mom and the dog. So it’s not like I refused to spend time with her or walk the dog forever.

I’ve been reading through the comments and honestly, I was kind of shocked. One of the comments that really stuck with me was someone asking if I even had a chance to say no. That hit the nail on the head.

My mom is a Hispanic immigrant and very much a "my way or the highway" type. She doesn’t really take “no” unless there’s a strong reason. And when I reread my post, I did sound kind of whiny, but what I was actually doing was trying to counter all her arguments because she wouldn’t take “no” the first (or second) time. So it became a back-and-forth over something small.

Another example of how she can be: I got home from a 9-hour shift today and she asked me to read over her email since English isn’t her first language. I said yes, just let me wash my Tupperware, take off my contacts, and change. She immediately started pushing like “It’ll take two minutes.” And I said, “Cool, then you can wait two minutes.” She said “thank you” in the most passive-aggressive tone, and then when I helped her, she hit me with “See? That didn’t take long, did it?” And when I said “Yeah, and it took me two minutes to change too,” she waved it off and said, “I waited two hours for you.” (She didn’t.)

That’s actually what reminded me to come back and post an update.

Also, shoutout to the person who stalked my profile and told me to count how long it takes for tea to cool before I become a doctor. Wild.

Another thing that bugged me: people acting like just because my mom is letting me live with her before med school, she’s automatically entitled to 100 percent of my time. I am grateful to her and I do help around the house and spend time with her. But that doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to say “not right now” or “give me five minutes.”

Like yeah, maybe she just wanted to hang out, but I was literally in the middle of doing something. And we do spend time together regularly. It’s not like I blew her off to go party.

Looking back, I probably should’ve just said “I’m busy right now” instead of explaining the tea thing. I wasn’t trying to be annoying, I was just thinking “I’ll drink this, then we can walk.” And for the record, the dog did not urgently need to go out. My Mom just wanted to go at that moment.

And the “your mom will be dead and you’ll regret this” comments? Be serious. I get the sentiment but in 20 years I’ll reflect on a lot of things but a short convo about tea probably won’t be one of them.

Anyway, thanks to the people who were actually thoughtful. I’ll be more direct next time. Lesson learned.

Dog tax!