Hi guys, some people have asked for an update for my story

I had the conversation with my brother today, and it didn’t go well at all—which absolutely breaks my heart.

I tried to approach it calmly and used many of the amazing arguments you all shared. He did acknowledge that it wasn’t really about the dress, but more about the person wearing it, which honestly brought me some clarity. I tried to go deeper and address the root issues that have driven this divide in our family.

For some context: I moved abroad to study for my Master’s, and shortly after, G and Y announced their wedding dates. I wasn’t able to celebrate or support him through any of it. Still, I tried to reach a compromise—traveling over 28 hours just to be there—but their date was right before my thesis defense, so I asked if they could consider adjusting it slightly. The response I got was:

“Our personal life doesn’t revolve around you.”

That absolutely crushed me.

Many of you asked what our relationship was like before Y entered the picture. The truth is, I always considered G my best friend. He’s five years older than me, and growing up, he saw the abuse I went through from our parents. He always tried to shield me from it, and I loved him deeply for that.

I’ll be honest—my family is far from perfect. My mom has her own mental health struggles, and my dad is narcissistic and controlling. They divorced when I was 13 and G was 18. Despite everything, my mom fought tooth and nail for a fair alimony to support both G and me, and I’ve worked hard to understand, forgive, and appreciate how far she’s come.

But something in G changed. Suddenly, we all became villains in his narrative. The bond we once had, the years of mutual support and shared struggles—vanished. Now, everything revolves around Y being the victim, and the rest of us are painted as threats or enemies.

I supported them from the start. I recognized the power imbalance and knew they’d need allies. But the moment I pointed out that they, too, might be contributing to the tension, I became the problem.

I could say so much more, but right now I just feel numb. I lost my brother, and I feel completely broken.

Thank you all for your support, your kind words, and your advice. It means more than I can say.