Hi everyone

Thank you for responding to my advice request on this sub.

My post was this: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/OfK8gLcrCF

I got asked it a lot, so will say it here in case my comment didn’t get noticed: my dad is 43 years old so the age difference between him and my stepmom (38) isn’t super drastic.

People were wondering where he was during this, he was at work.

I waited until my dad was home alone. I told him what happened. We have a rocky relationship because he has poor emotional regulation. That’s why my mom left him. It’s getting better between us though, since both of us have been making a conscious effort to communicate calmly so this conversation was one that I was dreading with my dad but it went as well as it could.

My dad’s first response was still to be irritable and defensive. He focused his anger (unfairly) on my boyfriend initially. I had to make it very clear that this happened unknowingly and spontaneously as far as my boyfriend is concerned and that he was a victim in this.

I also mentioned to my dad that my stepmom told me not to tell him.

My dad was too angry for words and didn’t say much to me. He left the house and came back later a bit more cooled off. He made me repeat the order of events again and exactly what was said.

He then said the rest is between my stepmom and him and he doesn’t want me to get involved.

He requested me to not have my boyfriend over for a while, I can go over to his place instead. That works out since my boyfriend doesn’t feel comfortable around my stepmom anymore.

You guys speculated my stepmom has a drinking problem. She definitely does. I think it’s gotten worse in the last few months. I don’t know why though. I have never had any issues with my stepmom but we are not exactly close either.