So my best Friend F/17, who I, also F/17, have been friends with for 11 years, had a bad breakup. And I am trying to support her, but I don't really know how to, given that I have zero relationship experience. But first I'll give you some background.

He M/20 was her first real boyfriend and she met him trough online gaming. She didn't even want a relationship at first, because he lives in another country and she also has some personal issues, that made her question her ability to navigate a relationship. But he was persistent and slowly she was developing feelings.

I must say, to my shame, that I supported that development and told her that she should let herself be loved. And everything was great in the first few months, she was healing, making mistakes für sure, but she always talked to either one of us or her boyfriend. And we (her friend group) always encouraged her to talk to her boyfriend about the issues and I even helped her write some messages, because she was too anxious to confront him.

I must also admit that there were some issues with time sharing. He didn't have much interest in calling and having deep conversations. He would always say I have nothing to talk about, whereas my friend just wanted to spend some time with him and connect. But she tried talking it out with him.

So fast forward, I was hanging out at home and preparing myself for an important exam that's half of my grade. But suddenly my friend calls me crying hystericaly and she couldn't even form words, but then tells me her boyfriend broke up with her. I couldn't fathom this reality at first, because it came out of the blue for me and her.

So what happened was he called her to break up and end this, because he didn't want to have a relationship anymore. My friend always asked why and if there is no hope, where he couldn't really answer. After Ending the call he wrote her a message with issues he has about her and what she did wrong in the relationship. But the twist is he never talked about that shit before and he told many other people, even some co-workers, about it but never her. The irony in that is, that he got mad that she didn't come to him first with her problem, but rather talked to one of her friends and then to him in the past. But now he does the same, but way worse, because he wants to end the relationship over it and not give her time to work on it. Naturally she felt very hurt that he talked to everybody over the course of a month, but not to her and instead ends the relationship.

I tried consoling her and telling her it wasn't her fault. Because obviously she felt like it was all her fault, because of the list he send her with all the issues he had with her, he never bothered to mention. She also messaged him a day after or so, and he told her it wasn't her fault, it was his. He also told her that she needed to find her happiness, not in him, but herself (which I agree with, she gave up her hobbies, because of depression, but they could have worked on it. He knew she had issues and knew the reasons.) A while after that he told her that his feeling for her are buried away and that he doesn't know when he will love her again. And that they could try again in the future when he's ready and that for the right person, you can try many times ( like having many short relationships) till it works.

I think he is full of crap. Never in my life have I heard such bullshit and I think he just wants to string her along with a bunch of excuses. Why do I think that? Well because of all the reasons above and because he sent her a pic of his mic with the same colour they picked out to match and the bracelet on it, which she made him when he came to visit. But then he he blocked her from the app he send it on. For me it was the last nail in the coffin. He first breaks her (with the breakup), then give her hope with buried feelings, then breaks her again because he wants to pause for unforeseeable future and now gives her hope with a picture and breaks her by blocking her. She is determined to wait for him. I with our whole friend group ( aka two other girls, but one of them has a long term relationship and seems this behaviour inappropriate for a relationship from his side) say he's an ass, forget him.

Me and my friend who has a boyfriend are low-key his biggest haters. And try to get her, to get over him. She is healing and taking up her old hobbies ( I'm so relieved, that she's getting better NGL), but I fear he could destroy everything if they get back together.

Am I the asshole for hating her ex and telling her that he's an ass and trying get her started on a normal life again or should I support her more in the way of getting back together? I have no experience, so I want to know your opinions about him, please.

PS r/relationship_advise didn't let me post it, because of my question at the end. I hope the situation isn't too unfitting to this community.