I never thought I’d be writing something like this. But here I am, not just angry, but exhausted — mentally and emotionally drained. A guy I barely knew — someone I followed back out of politeness because we had mutuals — turned my online space into a living nightmare. And the worst part? Instagram did absolutely nothing.

It started with compliments. Then the DMs came more frequently. Harmless at first — or so I thought. “You're so beautiful,” “I wish we could hang out sometime,” “Why don’t you reply?” I ignored them. I didn’t want to be rude, but I also didn’t want to engage. I had no obligation to. But apparently, ignoring a guy online is a crime worth punishing.

Soon the tone changed. He started messaging me from multiple accounts. If I blocked one, another appeared. He commented on every story I posted, even when I changed my privacy settings. He started tagging me in random, weird posts. At one point, he said he knew where I lived — he didn't, but the threat was enough to make me look over my shoulder. Every. Single. Day.

I reported everything. Screenshots, timestamps, usernames — all sent to Instagram’s “safety team.” Their response? “This account doesn’t violate our community guidelines.” Are you kidding me? A guy creating burner accounts just to harass me isn’t a violation?

Let me ask something: why is it that platforms like Instagram, worth billions of dollars, still don’t take women’s safety seriously? Why are men allowed to harass, intimidate, and follow us virtually everywhere — and we're the ones who have to lock down our profiles, delete our pictures, or just vanish from spaces we helped build?

And don’t even get me started on the people who say “just block him” or “don’t give him attention.” Blocking doesn’t stop someone who is obsessed. Blocking doesn’t change the way social media is set up to protect engagement over people. Blocking doesn’t erase the anxiety of waking up to another creepy DM or another fake profile stalking your stories.

This isn’t about hurt feelings or social awkwardness. This is harassment. This is digital stalking. If it happened in person — if someone followed me around my neighborhood, left notes on my door, kept changing disguises to get close to me — that would be a crime. But online, it’s a “gray area.”

I'm tired of living in fear in a space that’s supposed to be mine. I'm tired of having to prove that I feel unsafe before someone takes me seriously. I shouldn't have to justify why someone’s obsessive behavior online feels threatening. It is threatening. Just because it's digital doesn't make it less real.

So here’s the controversial take: we need real accountability for cyberharassment, especially when it comes from men toward women. Not vague community guidelines. Not weak AI moderation. We need real people, real systems, and real consequences.

To those reading this: If you’ve ever dismissed someone’s experience like mine, ask yourself why. If it hasn’t happened to you, consider yourself lucky — not right. And if you’re someone who thinks “it’s not that deep,” you are part of the problem.

This isn’t just about one creepy guy in my DMs. It’s about an entire culture that lets him feel entitled to keep going.