When I(20f) discovered I was in a cult I was ready to get out of it, problem is that there’s a lot of shunning for the people who leave and usually everyone cuts ties with them. I have two little siblings so I thought of just pretending I was perfectly happy until I moved out. The problem is that if someone is not doing well “spiritually” the higher-ups will usually want to talk to you about your lack of faith or your “worldly” impression, if they don’t think you’re doing as well as they think you should be doing.

While all of this was happening, I was trying to rebuild a relationship with my mother, I love her very much but sadly I’ve come to understand that I can’t trust her. For most of my teen years every thing did was just wrong, I don’t mean in the angsty teenage way, I mean in the “my mother used to call me a whore for showing a bit of cleavage or for wearing an ankle bracelet” way. And don’t even get me started on the little secrets I sometimes confided in her just for it to suddenly become a hot topic within my family.

It got worse when I tried to gently introduce the fact that I might not be completely straight… my mistake really. For her and for everyone in the “religion” having doubts is the exact same as leaving and rejecting everything I’ve ever been taught. Now imagine being something incredibly despised by them.

I was going to have one of those “spirituality, checking meetings” in a few days, I was perfectly fine with sucking it up and just pretending everything was fine (fuck however many panic attacks I have about it), but she’s made 20 comments too many about everything I do this week for me to suck it up (yeah I was an idiot and trusted her again with another one of my secrets).

Now here is how I WBTA, my plan is to simply tell her that I’ll be leaving the religion and it’s her fault, that she has shown me none of the love this cult promotes and the motherly love and that she preaches to have is nonexistent. That she completely failed in raising me within this religion and has only shown me the worst parts. I know this would destroy her, but I really want to show her the pain she has been putting me through for the last 7 years. She’s very self-centered, and it will kill her for me to leave, especially if she thinks it’s her fault.

TDLR: I (20F) realized I was in a cult and planned to pretend everything was fine until I could move out, mainly to stay in contact with my younger siblings. But my mom has been constantly judgmental, emotionally abusive, and has betrayed my trust for years especially after I hinted at not being straight. Now I’m fed up and want to tell her I’m leaving the religion and that it’s entirely her fault, even though I know it would devastate her. I’m wondering if I’d be the asshole for doing it.