I met Sarah 7 years ago in college. We are from different states but I moved to her state and that's where we both went to school. During the first couple of months that we met we clicked really well and became very close. 4 months into our friendship we slept together but I made it clear that I didn't want a relationship and that this would be a FWB thing strictly. This went on for about 2 years. We would sleep with each other, but also do everything with each other. Looking back, it was probably a relationship with no label. Most of those two years we were sleeping with each other pretty exclusively.

Eventually, I decided to stop sleeping with her and set some boundaries as I did not want to be in a relationship at all and felt like she may have forgotten my intent. I will admit i am at fault for letting it get that far, I just was doing what felt good but in hindsight, I should of said something earlier.

We stayed close friends after that and we both saw different people for the next couple of years, nothing crazy. Last year, she got into a serious relationship and.. well.. I felt very weird about the whole thing. I felt heartbroken. Which doesn't make any sense, since I am not looking for love and was very insistent on not being with her in a relationship. I tried to suck it up, but eventually she found out I was feeling that way and I distanced myself. She's was upset that I'm throwing the friendship away after never wanting to be with her. Fine, Fair. I'm upset that I'm hurt and tell her I need space, maybe for good. 6 months go by with limited contact and I decide I'm ready to reach out and be back in her life in a completely plutonic way. By this point she meets with me and tells me that she's thinking about breaking up with her BF, but that it had nothing to do with me. So we decide to be friends again a couple of days later she breaks up with him and... we hooked up.

I know, you don't need to tell me how this looks. I know.

This is where things take a complicated turn. I'm feeling very confused. Vulnerable. Upset, but also happy? Well long story short we try to date for real and make things work but as you may suspect, a couple of months later we realize it's not going to work. A lot of it has to do with our differences in beliefs and lifestyle. Some of it with the past. I felt like for me to stick around and be the guy best friend after all this would be just.. so weird. But she insists she wants me in her life and I agreed, but only for her sake. I'm trying to move on completely and realize I have an attachment to her. If i had it my way I would cut contact, its the cleanest and easiest way to move on. BUT, I care for her and she really wants me to stay friends.

I am concerned that in the future, when she does move on with someone, I'll be that guy friend. Would I be the asshole if i continued the friendship knowing how her future partners would feel about me?