My parents had me (26F) at a very young age. I thought having young parents used to be cool, but the older I got the more I realized how dysfunctional my upbringing was.

My father (43M) has had his fair share of health issues in the past. He was an alcoholic for 20 years and finding that out when I was 24 was a punch in the gut. Nevertheless, he took charge and made changes.

Fast forward to this past weekend. He calls me out of the blue and says that his depression came back, he quit his job, and left my stepmother. Because I’m going through some rough stuff on my own end, I was numb to the news. I checked in on him repeatedly to make sure he was okay. While the conversation eventually got lighter, the pit in my stomach never left. The next day I contacted my stepmother in private and she told me, “Honey, just please watch out for your own sake. He’s been drinking again, and he lied about going to therapy.”

That shattered me, but even then that’s an understatement. My stepmother wouldn’t hurt a fly and she’s not the type to get jealous, so I knew that just by her voice she was devastated and telling the truth.

My father has done so much for me. He’s apologized for past trauma (without me confronting him), helped me through some of my college finances, etc…. I remember him being the only one I could have “real” conversations with (outside of my friend group).

I’m sympathetic to my father because I know what it’s like to be in a dark place. I’ve battled depression and severe low points, some of which I’m actively going through. But at the same time I’m pissed that he just dropped everything and abandoned my stepmother and my younger siblings (who are old enough to be aware of what’s going on).

Two of my friends told me that no-contact sounds like a good idea, my mother doesn’t want to give me a solid answer (she hasn’t spoken to my father in years), and I keep going back and forth with myself.

WIBTA for going no-contact even though I’m very sympathetic to my father’s situation?