Okay, here goes. I have a special needs stepchild who is severely intellectually disabled. They also are non-verbal. Their high school completion ceremony is next month.

I am currently in an incredibly high-conflict situation with my partner's ex (step kid's parent), and in recent weeks it has become very contentious to the point we are not on speaking terms.

As for the kid, they are great and I want them to have a happy day. Honestly, I'm not completely sure how much the kid (who is actually now an adult, legally speaking) even understands or appreciates what will be going on. I think the understanding is so limited I'm sure they will have fun but probably not really know what the event is even about.

Anyway, I've been thinking about it and given all the troubles between me and my partner's ex, would I be TA if I didn't attend? Maybe I'm thinking it could give the three of them time to enjoy the event together without me, and also I'm honestly wondering if I'm just going to have a hard time being at the event. I will talk to my partner about it, but I also worry they won't tell me what they really want, if that makes sense. Maybe I'm overthinking this, I don't know.