Burner acc. for obvious reasons.

My best friend (referred to as E) and I have been friends for several years. We live together while I’m in school. E and I have gone through a lot of stuff together, and we have each other’s support. E means the world to me as a friend.

E has some mental health issues, including ASD, ADD/ADHD, and takes antidepressants. While I may not understand what it’s like to live with these conditions, I always do my best to understand in the best way I can, because he’s my friend. One thing in particular which upsets him is intimacy, specifically sex. E says that it sends him into uncomfortable, anxious fits, from thinking about people he knows having sex with other people, and it really upsets him.

Now, I live with E and another roommate. I live in the downstairs bedroom, while they are upstairs in their bedrooms. If I had someone over and my roommates were home, I would do my best to be quiet and respectful of them.

This is not enough for E. The other day, a friend of mine came over (we’ll call her K). I turned on my bathroom fan, turned on the kitchen vent, and put white noise on my computer. Somehow, E heard me sushing K, and got upset. E demanded over text that she had to leave by midnight and was unwelcome in the house. I told E that I understand why this upsets him, but I did everything I could to be considerate of him and make sure to keep him and my other roommate in mind. E insisted how awful of a feeling it was for him to deal with, and that she shouldn’t come back to the house because E “doesn’t trust us.”

This simmered down, but today, K came over and just wanted to hang out. We had discussed sex, but it was up in the air. E decided to come downstairs, saw us, and decided to sit down in the living room and passively scroll on his phone.

E is my friend. K is my friend. While E is doing much better than he has been in recent years, I believe E’s behavior and insecurity to be harmful to himself and his relationships with others. It is unjust to hang a “Sword of Damocles” over me and having people over. If E or my other roommate had someone over, I wouldn’t do that. That’s not right. E needs help, but I don’t want to be a dick about it.

So, it’s now April. E did it again. I had another friend over, H, and we both wanted to do it. Being a good friend, I let both of my roommates know that H was coming over. E came downstairs with his headphones on and ignored us at first, instead cooking. However, E sat down with us to watch hockey, even though he doesn’t like the sport, and sat on his phone and chimed in every once in a while. He even stalled cleaning up the kitchen to purposely not find a way to leave us alone. I wouldn’t normally assume intent, but I made it clear that we would probably have sex.

This is immature and selfish. It needs to stop. WIBTA?