This is going to be a long one, so buckle up. For privacy, I won’t be using real names or ages.

The Backstory:

A few months ago, my younger brother (let’s call him Nathan) and I found out that we have an older half-brother. The revelation came out of nowhere. We were in the car with our biological father when, out of the blue, he just stared at us and said, “You know what? Fuck it.” Then he dropped the bombshell.

He made us swear to secrecy before explaining that, on the night of his 18th birthday, after dropping off my mom (his girlfriend at the time) and my aunt, he went back to his party, got too drunk, and ended up sleeping with his sister’s best friend—we’ll call her Jasmine.

They never really spoke about it afterward... until Jasmine turned up pregnant. The child, let’s call him Andy, was biologically my father’s. But my father didn’t want to raise Andy, while Jasmine did. So, they did what seemed "logical" to them at the time—they passed Andy off as Jasmine’s boyfriend’s son and never told him otherwise.

My father stayed in Andy’s life for about four years, pretending to be just a friend of Jasmine’s. He eventually stopped visiting once my mom got pregnant with Nathan. I was born a couple of years later.

Why I'm Torn:

Nathan and I want a relationship with Andy. We both always felt like something was missing—especially since Nathan and I didn’t get along well growing up. Finding out about Andy felt like a puzzle piece clicking into place.

The problem? Our father and Jasmine are adamant that Andy should never find out the truth. And I get it—Jasmine’s ex (the man who raised Andy) has no idea he’s not the biological father. They eventually split, but he paid child support for years. If the truth came out, he might sue to get that money back.

And it’s not like Andy was some hidden secret—my dad’s entire family knew. Even my mom had her suspicions because my grandmother used to try bringing Andy around when Nathan was young. The resemblance between him and Nathan was apparently uncanny, but my dad shut it down fast. (For obvious reasons.)

Nathan and I are torn. On one hand, we feel Andy has the right to know the truth. On the other, we wonder if we’re being selfish—possibly blowing up a life that Andy was better off not knowing the full story of.

So, Reddit... Would I be the asshole if I reached out to my half-brother and told him the truth about who his real father is—despite the wishes of everyone else involved?