Obligatory throwaway account…

A bit of backstory: I cut off my extended family going on five years ago now. They are very republican, think inside the maga cult republican, and I am the total opposite. Whenever we had family get togethers, I would always end up in arguments with them over politics. I never started those conversations but I’m also not going to sit by and let people say horrific things about my community, my friends, or just overall bigoted comments about any group of people. I stuck it out while my grandmother was alive and tried to do it for my mom after my grandma passed but things came to a head one day with my grandfather, who I overheard saying some mean things about me, after we got into an argument about college education brainwashing the youth (his argument) or higher education providing people with critical thinking, empathy, exposure to other groups of people, how to do proper research (my argument). I walked out that day and never went back.

Since that happened, I’ve had two cousins get married and I didn’t go to either wedding. My mom has two siblings, a brother and sister, and they each have two kids. It was my uncle’s two kids that have already gotten married and since they were the biggest perpetrators of bigotry I had no qualms about missing the weddings. These particular cousins, uncle, and his wife have made no effort to contact me in all these years. Not any holiday, birthday, grad school graduation, no olive branch whatsoever. Not that I care because I don’t want to talk to them; my life is much more peaceful without them in it. However, my mom’s sister and her two daughters, my cousins, have made that effort. They are also not as political as the rest of the family although they also vote red. They never miss a birthday/holiday, sometimes my aunt will call me to say hi and I do answer, and this past year I did see those two cousins a couple of times. It is my aunt’s oldest daughter that is now getting married…to a magat. I am invited and she has reached out to see if I’m going but I haven’t decided yet. On one hand, they’ve made an effort to maintain some sort of relationship with me and they are the only cousins I have (dad’s family is even more complicated) so I feel obliged to go. But on the other hand, I have no interest in seeing other family members and she’s marrying a guy just as bad (he refused to get the Covid vaccine because he thinks it’s a government conspiracy).

To further complicate things, my grandfather planned a reunion for his whole family. So his sisters, their children and grandchildren, and us too obviously. I only remember meeting some of these relatives when I was very young, like elementary school young, so I am kind of interested in going. Unfortunately, I’d have to see those family members I intentionally cut off. My aunt wants me to go as a sort of “test run” so that if anything happens it doesn’t ruin her daughter’s wedding. Which I totally understand! I know I’m not going to approach them but they definitely will approach me and I’m not going to bite my tongue if they say anything untoward.

I’m torn. Do I go to the wedding? Do I go to the reunion? Do I go to one but not the other? Or do I skip both?

TL;DR: cut off my extended family years ago for being magats. Now one of my cousins, who has tried to maintain a relationship, is getting married and I don’t know if I should go.