Hi all,

I, 21f, am making plans to go to ren faire with my good friends. Planning this started months ago when me and my best friend ( we will call him BFF, 21m) and i were saying who we wanted to bring. Last year, ren faire was just me, bff, and our other best friend (we’ll call them remy, 21nb). this year, i wanted to bring my girlfriend (24f) and my gf’s sister as well as some other friends who wanted to tag along. planning went silent for a few months.

for some additional context, i met remy in my second semester of college two years ago. i’ve been seeing my gf for about a year, we live together, and remy and my gf get along well. my gf has taken remy partying and helped remy make friends at the college they both go to. my other friends (bff and our friend group from high school) love both remy and my gf. i introduced remy to my friend group and now we play dnd together and remy is even dating one of the guys in that friend group. to be honest, i just considered us all one big group even if my gf was less of a regular in the group as she has her own friends. but remy loves spending time at our apartment and used to come over at least once a week for dinner and drinks. as well, remy has a history of being a bit rude, but i have always gone to bat and defended them when people have complained.

fast forward to now, remy has been awkward and distant. last time remy came by my apartment they didn’t look at me or talk to me while they were there (they were just dropping some stuff off as a gift for my gf.) i thought it was weird, but didn’t say anything. then the other day, remy’s bf made a group chat with my high school friends and remy and started asking what day would work for us all. i obviously asked if i could add my gf, since i was planning for her to come too. remy’s bf said yeah, so i did. immediately after that, remy responded with “i thought this was only for our friend group :/“ with my gf already in the chat. i immediately clarified that me and bff had already spoken about it and my gf asked “aren’t you and your boyfriend also dating?” assuming she was being excluded because we’re dating. remy responded with some crap about their bf being part of the group before they were dating using heart emojis and just being a total jerk. then responded to me saying “oh i didn’t know you talked to bff about it! no worries :)” which would’ve been fine, but it was followed by my gf saying “oh sorry, that was just what i was seeing from my perspective” and remy saying “it’s okay, i couldn’t expect you to know <3”

i was pissed tf off, because what? this is my friends from high school that i introduced you to and have made sure you are included in. i reached out to see what was up and remy just said “im stressed from planning this all alone.” and i was just thinking that we never asked them to do that. they pretty much told me that me and my gf would have to ride separate from everyone (even though bff has a car big enough to fit us all and then some) and asked me when i would be there. keep in mind we never chose a day because instead of planning, the chat immediately turned to this weird argument. bff also confronted remy, but was told it was a carpooling issue.

now i’m really upset and im considering declining the invitation from remy and taking my own group to ren faire separately because i still want gfs sister and other friends to come too, even if they’re not part of my high school friend group. bff has said that if i do, he’d rather go with me and invite all the people he wants to invite too and im seriously considering doing this. will i be an asshole if i choose to do this? i’m not going to be rude im just going to politely decline and make my own plans, i don’t want to rub it in remy’s face or anything, i just don’t want to disturb their fun or have my fun ruined.

so would i be an asshole if i exclude my friend from my ren faire plans?