Me (20) and my boyfriend (22) have been living together for over 2 years. He used to be a heavy drinker (while he was underage) but had slowed down significantly before we got together. He would occasionally drink with me at my place before we moved in together, but he never took more than a few shots each time, and it was never a regular thing.

Since moving in together, we have always had alcohol in the house. Typically a bottle of whiskey, wine, or vodka. These bottles would last us quite a long time, as we didn’t drink often unless it was a special occasion. Now, he buys a new bottle every week or so. This has been going on for 2 months. I have stopped drinking completely because I do not want to enable him. He drinks every night. Multiple shots of liquor (anywhere from 4-8 a night, from a tall shot-glass) and is never in a good mood when he does. This makes him either annoyed, depressed, angry, or all three. I’ve expressed to him when he is sober that I dislike how much he drinks, and that he may be relapsing. He informed me that if i feel like it’s getting worse, that I should dump everything down the drain.

Tonight, he went to the fridge immediately when he got home from work and poured a shot. He normally would change into pajamas, and spend time with me and our pets before doing so. This really bothered me. Before he went to grab another after he had changed, I mentioned that i think it’s getting bad again. His reaction to this was about as expected.

He was angry, and told me that he would not be okay with me disposing of the liquor, and that it was a violation of his property that he “payed good money for”. I reminded him that this is what he told me to do, and he said that he takes it back and went to our bedroom.

When he came back out to take more shots, he told me that he also agrees it’s getting worse, and that he has a problem, but has no intention of stopping. I told him I’d like him to talk to someone, and he agreed to look into that with me tomorrow instead of drinking.

While he is at work tomorrow, I want to pour everything into jars and hide it. Some of the bottles he has right now are a little pricey, so I don’t want to throw them away completely. I will not be keeping them from him forever, just until he starts to get some professional help. I know that this will make him mad, but it’s getting to the point where he is getting mean with me, and I’m not okay with that. He really is a great partner to me, but I cannot deal with this specific behavior. I do worry that he would just go buy more, but he works later then the allowed time for liquor sales in my state, so he wouldn’t immediately be able to do so.

Would I be the asshole if of I hide his liquor?

ETA: I am not leaving him. I know that it is the “easy way out”, and I am still not going to leave him for this. I have dealt with alcoholism from people in my life before, and it is something I know can be worked past. He has admitted to having an issue, and no matter what everyone thinks, that is always the first step