Hi Everyone,

I’m reaching out because I’m feeling overwhelmed and unsure of how to navigate my current situation.

I (35F) am the eldest daughter in a family where dysfunction is pretty much the norm. Over the past year, I’ve become emotionally drained from a high-stress job while also trying to hold things together at home.

My sister (33F) lives with chronic pain (CRPS) and requires a lot of daily support. I often find myself stepping in to provide both emotional and physical assistance. She also deals with emotional instability, which is worsened by her pain, and has a history of making impulsive, extreme decisions that negatively impact me (e.g., getting into an argument over something small and then admitting herself to the hospital on a psychiatric hold).

Things have become even more complicated this year—my mom (60F) had a stroke, and my dad (65M) recently battled sepsis. Both are struggling to take care of themselves and each other, and I feel like I’m the only one stepping in. While I share household responsibilities with my dad, it’s a lot to manage given his age and health issues. Between cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, and managing my parents' finances and insurance claims, I’ve essentially become the matriarch of the family.

My brother (31M) doesn’t work and has never taken on responsibilities at home. He spends most of his time playing video games with no expectations placed on him. It often feels like I’m carrying the full weight of the household on my own.

To make matters worse, I’m currently off work on long-term disability (LTD) due to stress-related mental health issues, and I was recently diagnosed with ADHD. That alone is a lot to deal with, but instead of receiving support while I recover, I feel like my family has added more responsibilities to my plate simply because I’m home more.

I’ve tried setting boundaries, but they’re often pushed or ignored. I’m constantly walking on eggshells, carrying a heavy emotional load, and when I express how I feel, I’m met with defensiveness rather than understanding.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about moving out to prioritize my well-being, but I’m terrified of what might happen if I do. I feel like I’m the only one holding things together, and I don’t want to “abandon” my family. At the same time, I’m missing out on my own life—and I know that continuing like this isn’t sustainable.

So, WIBTA if I moved out?

How do you balance taking care of your mental health while feeling responsible for others?

How do you deal with the guilt when your family needs you, but you need to step away for your own well-being?

I’d really appreciate any advice or support from those who’ve been through something similar.