I’m sorry if this is very long, I am high off emotion and I just have no friend irl to talk to.

I (21f) currently stay with my son (8mo.), my mom (58f), my older (30m) & his girlfriend (45f). while i was 5 months pregnant my son’s father shot himself and i’ve been nothing but depressed and stressed ever since. as much as you would probably like me to sugarcoat this bc “their family” i CAN’T STAND THEM.

My older brother battled with addiction most of his life since i was 2 and has yet to get better. to me, i don’t think he wants it enough to try. on top of his stealing habit & not even being man enough to even own up to it, he makes my life a living hell. he is one of the most unpleasant people to live w/. he leaves a big mess everywhere he goes for my mom and i to clean, he eats my food FOR WORK,, and just about everything you think the roommate from Hell does he does too 9/10 times. His also extremely childish for his age. He plays victim 24/7, has a unnatural sense of entitlement, his so inconsiderate that it’s disturbing when you realize his my OLDER brother, his very invasive and just barges in your room and helps himself to anything of mine, and just all around manipulative. i elected to not be close w/ him or make attempts to anymore after he stole from me multiple times while i was pregnant and when we finally argued abt it he brought up how my child’s father is dead and mocked him and said he was in Hell as if that wasn’t the only man in my life who actually cared abt me more than i can say he has. Everytime he gets out of jail, he brings home another crack whore for my mom to support along w/ him. 2 years ago, his (27 at the time) last girlfriend (19f at the time) and him trashed this house so bad for months that i (17f) was always expected to clean up after them and my mom never even kicked her out no matter how hard she tried, he would just bring her back or sneak her in. The stress of cleaning up begin 2 ppl, one being close in age to me, made me so depressed and anxious bc my mom took all her anger from them out on me. My mom has a notorious habit of taking her anger out on people she thinks is weaker than her, like me.

The only reason the ex isn’t living w/ us anymore is bc she was working w/ the police on crimes they both committed to get less time and when he found out he wanted nothing to do w/ her or the son he allegedly fathered. A couple days after he said what he said to me, during a STAGED suicide attempt, he told my mom how he can’t live in the house w/ just us bc “it’s too much pressure on him” and just a bunch of whiny bs. i lost somebody to suicide so seeing him using that as an opportunity to manipulate my mom to get his way made me lose what little bit of respect i had for left for him. He told her that he was just gonna be homeless with his current girlfriend and my mom got scared and “wanted to save his life” and ended up letting him and the lady move in “temporarily” for almost a YEAR now. a couple days later, i ended up going into labor almost a week early.

I wish i can say my mom is my bestifriend and stresses way less but that’s a lie. Ever since my brother got out of jail a couple months after my bf offed himself, she has been d riding him so much. She can care less about my child’s father even though he did way more for her than her own son ever has. My mom refuses to do anything that doesn’t involve coddling her 30 year old son. She won’t kick him out the house, she won’t evict his girlfriend but has no issue imposing that problem on me too. i stopped doing anything here bc i told her im not going to work from 7am to 4pm and burn up my weekends cleaning in a house im not even CONSIDERED in while 2 ppl get to be supported for free. She defends him all the time unknowingly and sometimes to get to me. My mom has always showed my brother so much favoritism, it’s clear she’s never gonna make him grow up. She’s also very passive and has never done anything to prevent either of us from hurting
if it meant putting her foot down.

I rarely debate w/ my mom anymore bc I accepted that she lives in a fantasy world for the most part. Using logic against her doesn’t work bc all of her arguments are purely emotional but she always says that abt me. She doesn’t want to believe that her son is an addict bc she enables him and indirectly encourages most of his bs. She can’t accept that he doesn’t feel the need to change bc she never put her foot down. She feels like his the way he is bc she was working a lot when him and our oldest brother were teenagers, how he always felt like he could never amount to anything and just a bunch of whiny bs. it makes me sick whenever i hear this bc this is the same woman who willingly took in her ex husband to take care of him in his last days knowing he SA’d me for 4 years straight when i was 8 up until i was 12. When he doesn’t want to get help for his addictions, it’s bc of w.e excuse she makes for him but when it’s me rightfully angry at her it’s all of a sudden “I did my best and it’s not good enough for you” or w.w gaslighting comment she makes. She is just as manipulative as my brother she hides it better behind this christian persona.

Now for the question, WIBTA to report my brother’s gf for SSI fraud? I know she gets a disability check and SSI from a car accident from years ago that messed her neck up. However, her and my brother are using drugs and w.e money she has never goes to my mom and I’m working at a daycare I swore I’d never go back to, unhappy ash with life in general and unhappy in the house I contribute in all while my mom is equally unhappy but only puts us through this bc she doesn’t want my brother to feel alone. Meanwhile, there’s somebody living off the government and using most of her money for drugs and makeup while her BOYFRIEND steals my stuff for her too. I feel like by reporting her, I can get her free money taken away and maybe my mom will feel more confident about getting rid of her. She successfully evicted her once but than hurricane helene happened and she felt bad for her enough to let her back.