So, me (19) and my boyfriend (20) , I’ll call him Joe, have been together for two years. We both still live at home with families due to school. However, my boyfriend moved in with us for me and my family for a long time, due to feeling more comfortable here, than his own home.

His family has never treated him right, his mother is a woman with many mental illnesses, and his father is often drinker who hates women.

However, after some time, we wanted to get more independent, Joe realised although he didn’t have the best experience with his family, he missed them. Our living arrangements would be different, we wouldn’t be as reliant on my family, but would still be offered support.

When we moved in, Joes mother and sister were the only living there, due to Joes mother lying about being a single mother and claiming benefits, his dad had to run away to their home country as his mum would boast about claiming benefits and someone ratted them out.

Me and Joes dad never had a good relationship, when we were younger, I used to mostly sleep over at his house, to which his dad said that ‘I only sleep there because her (my) parents don’t know I’m not a virgin). Essentially calling me a whore.

Since then, he’s made a few rude comments to which Joe has had conversations, many yelling, with him about. Even after all this, I thought his dad wouldn’t return to the house for a long time (a year and most likely longer) so I didn’t have a problem moving in.

We quickly realised they didn’t offer any help Joes mum claimed to offer, such as buying food. We were left for weeks at home with no food, with no jobs due to school so no money. Whenever my family brought food for us, they would eat it all, or use what they bought me, such as my own laundry detergent etc.

I didn’t mind that there wasn’t food often in the fridge or that there were more responsibilities, but it took a toll on us, I lost nearly 6-7kg in 2 months. We paid our share of rent, but Joes mum would throw in our face that she pays over £1000 for rent and we need to pay more (she doesn’t, it’s all paid for by benefits). So, without bringing all of this up, we just said we would like to move back home to my parents.

We then were let known that Joes father would be moving back home, so it gave us all the reason to move back.

For some backstory, the last time he came to visit, he got violently drunk and said horrible things, such as mocking Joes brothers suicidal past, and staining the bathroom walls with vomit.

When he returned, we let them know that we would spent the 1st day of Easter at my parents house, and the second at theirs. That’s when it all kicked off. However, the day before Easter I was bed ridden due to an unknown illness I’ve been suffering from, I was so weak I couldn’t move out of bed to get food, when Joe returned from school, he made me some food to eat and brought it up to bed for me. On his way up, his dad pointed out that he shouldn’t bring any food to bed in a rude tone, which would be fine, but it was obvious he was trying to pick a fight. This made us make the decision to leave for Easter a day earlier.

That’s when at my parents house, Joe gets a message from his grandma insisting that I am manipulating Joe and messing with his head, also insisting that I have a “bad aura” around me.

When Joe goes home to try and speak to his family, as his grandma lives in our home country, and it’s obvious Joes dad fed her lies (he’s said all of this to Joe himself before).

When Joe goes to confront them, his father says that it’s better ‘I don’t show up at that house again’. As well as saying he’s ’not a man because I manipulate him and tell him what to do’. The icing on the cake however was when he said that he wont speak to Joe again until he breaks up with me.

I have done a lot for Joes family, even after I have been belittled and bullied by them since the beginning of their relationship, time again I have turned the other cheek for the sake of Joe keeping a good relationship with his family.

But now I don’t know what to do, Joe is adamant that if I’m not accepted into his family, then neither is he. He has confirmed that he has felt more accepted and loved by my family than he ever has by his own, but for the sake of peace, will try to keep neutral with his parents.

I’m not sure what to do here, I have never done anything to even be seen as a bad person or be disrespected the way I have been by them. I want to know, what part do I play in this? Also would it be bad if I cut off his family from my life? I am tired of trying to get his family to like me. I don’t even think there is a point in talking to them because they won’t listen to me.

I understand we are still young, but this has been brewing since the start of our relationship, and I’m pretty sure this would happen with any woman he would be with, not just me.

I’m sorry if this is really long, I just want everyone to have all the facts needed.