My father passed away a little more than a year ago and I've been getting about $200 every month and I will until I'm 18 years old. i wanna go to this particular college because it doesn't look into your grades and will accept you if you're good at English. I also wanna help out my family (not really, I hate them) and live in a decent place with an actual running shower and no molding floor. The thing is my mom makes $536 a month and my brother makes close to a thousand, theyre just bad at saving money. Just last time my mom spent $191 on a "medicine" that helps women who had children and have loose bladder, she didn't even go to a gynecologist. My older brother bought a phone almost worth his whole month's salary, which is fine his old phone was barely working but then about 3 months later he bought another one that's even more expensive because the first one was "too heavy". I don't have problem with them spending their own money but you have to be responsible with your spendings when you're not retired from taking care of your children yet, I'm not saying it's my older brother's duty to take care of his siblings but he wants to buy an apartment and has agreed with my mom to let the $200 save up then go into the apartment. An average apartment is about $38,000, they wanna sell our old house back at our home country for $15,000, add my money, mom's pension and buy it. Mind you my 16 years old brother also gets the same amount of money as me, but that's HIS money and my older brother defends his choice to spend the way he wants to. Also a while ago I heard my older brother say that the apartment is going to be my 16 years old brother's, so he has his life set but I don't even get to go to college. The reason I know I won't ever get to go to college or university is because my mom told me to wait till I graduate at 11th grade instead of leaving at 9th grade. I'll be already 18 by then and my mom will just tell me fend for myself or blame me for being stupid and not getting a scholarship like everyone else, I know I sound lazy but I studied in different country until 7th grade and I'm below below average at the language, literature and history. I genuinely can't remember anything the moment I go into the classroom to take exams, more and more exams in the future will include things I missed out during 1-7th grade. This is starting to sound like one of those posts that are obviously in the right and are just looking for validation , still, my mom just shuts down when I bring up serious stuff we need to discuss or something she did wrong, she starts screaming at me stop talking nonsense, stop talking back to her or bring up the time I didn't know I had social anxiety and started sh as a form of relief, she acts like I intentionally become mentally ill to hurt her and victimize her(she doesn't know I have social anxiety, I would never tell her but hurts when she says I'm a weirdo who won't socialize with anyone). She also never told me to do my homework or practice reading and writing outside of school when I was little, my hand writing is a mess and I read really flawed. She never told me I had to brush my teeth everyday, all my molars are rotten because I had to learn it at 14 by myself and she won't even take me to the dentist because it's too expensive. Hell she didn't even tell me I had to wash out hair conditioner when I was 7 and I had to shave my head because I got lice. But then my brothers are perfectly normal and I wonder if I'm the problem or if my mom treated me differently. Sorry that was a vent right there. I'd appreciate every advice, I know about CPS but I don't know if I can handle being sent to foster care or continuing living at home with even more abuse after they find out I called CPS.