It's my birthday on Friday and we planned to spend the day together, taking the day off work. My birthday is really meaningful to me, which I've communicated. All I really wanted was time together, I didn't really care what we did. I have planned a lunch with friends but otherwise the day was free to be with my partner. He has pretty bad anger issues and self sabotages (is seeking therapy) and I know his cycle will be that he'll tell me at the last minute (late, the evening before) that he actually does want to come and will get upset if I took him for his word and made alternative plans. But I'm tired of this cycle and this feels like the last straw. So, would I be the asshole for breaking it off for this behavior alone? He's said some pretty hurtful things, like I'm "forcing" him to spend the day with me because I'm a "diva" who just wants things her way. This is not true as when he said "I'm not spending the day with you, have a good life" I simply said "Okay I understand" (he got mad at me for not taking the bait).

This probably all sounds dumb and childish to you but when you are IN the cycle of anger and what not, you know how hard it is to see things in reality. So please be kind, I'm sad ahead of my birthday.