My baby turns one in September. His birthday falls on a Friday this year so my husband and I decided that for the day of his birthday it would just be the three of us.

We want a small intimate day with our baby I know it sounds selfish but since his birth we have never gotten to celebrate anything without others around. Including his BIRTH. (i was extremely unhappy when is saw everyone in the room staring at my hooha but that's another story)

But we are planning to throw a big party the next day on Saturday so everyone can attend, my family and his all together. We are planning on renting out a space because while my family is only a handful my husband has a pretty huge family.

When we brought this up to my parents and siblings they agreed that it sounded nice and gave us no issues with it even though they wouldn't be there to wish him a happy birthday the day of.

My MIL is not going to take it well and I'm worried. She keeps talking about how she's planning his theme already and how it will be at her house and everyone will be there and pretty much just taking over.

Me and my husband want to plan the theme and pick the location. We want to be the one to pick out the balloons and do all that fun stuff you get to do for your kid.

For context:

With my gender reveal, MIL decided to take over. She didn't ask about themes or anything just started planning and never let me know anything. When my mom and sisters wanted to help she never answered the phone or gave them any information either. This really upset me because my mom offered to rent a place out but MIL said it would be at her house in the backyard. It ended up pouring raining and we knew for days it would rain but she said it would be fine :/ Although I appreciate what she did I just wish she would have given me some say in things and let my family pitch in. When my baby shower came my mother decided to be pretty petty and rented a big ballroom to throw the shower. She did let my MIL in on things but it was mainly just my mom and sister who planned and decorated. it came out amazing. It was beautiful and they also listened to my ideas about color and theme. There has been tension between our mothers since then, I feel like MIL feels like my mother showed her up but again, my family offered to help with money, food, setting up decor and she never let them have a chance. I don't feel bad that my mom did the same and she spent about 2k which is completely ridiculous but she is very petty and wanted to prove a point If the party is at MIL's i know she will take over. She's already taking about giving my son his first piece of cake and I really think that's a thing me and his dad should do. Also, there is a cultural difference between our families and they never seem to cater to my side. My husband is Mexican but i am half white and black. Ik it's stupid but with my gender reveal MIL only played hispanic music, food and games knowing my family doesn't speak or understand anything. The games were all in spanish and it hurt because my husband is barely fluent himself so ever he struggled to understand sometimes, it just felt like MIL was trying to alienate me and my family. She didn't even try speaking to my parents but my FIL did which was nice

With my Shower my family asked my husband's family to send music and food requests so that everyone got to enjoy their time. We bought games everyone could play and we had delicious Mexican food and "black" food. Idk if that's racist sounding but there is definitely a difference in food sorry.

I really just want to enjoy this special day with my son and husband. His mother shows up to everything and takes over so for just one day i would like some peace. Am i being a selfish AH?

Edit: We have already talked between each other (me and hubs) that if his mother doesn't respect rules going forward we will go nc.

Im not entirely sure if she will just show up to our house on his birthday... she has the password to the door. It irritates me that she just walks in sometimes without sending me a text or anything so we are changing the lock today.